For What It's Worth
by Kosaka
Summary: In the pursuit of Squall, Irvine convinces Zell to distract Seifer long enough to seduce Balamb Garden's Commander away from his abusive boyfriend. Seifer and Zell find that life is full of surprises. SeiferZell and others. sequel to 'First Snow'.
1. Prologue

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII/Kingdom Hearts

Pairing: Seifer/Zell (mentions of Seifer/Squall, Squall/Irvine and others)

Warnings: Boy/Boy Love. Don't like it? That's why it's called a warning.

This fic is a companion (and something of a sequel to) '_First Snow'_. Events of this fiction may not make sense if you have not read that story first. For those of you who haven't read FS I will say this much: with very few exceptions I prefer the original ff8 characters to their KH counterparts so I will be staying true to a Seifer that's 6'2, a bouncier Selphie, a Fujin that YELLS, etc.

Like '_First Snow'_ this story is what one might call a 'flashback fic'. The majority of the action takes place in the character's past. The "present" of the story exists within the Kingdom Hearts timeline, the past (bulk of the fic) in an FF8 timeline. That said, I think it will be fairly easy to tell the difference between one and the other.

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

**For What It's Worth**

**Prologue: Void of Course**

Hayner rolled the prone figure over with his right left foot.

"Man, he's sure creepy looking," Pence said. "He's so big, and check out that scar."

"…is he dead?" Olette asked tentatively.

Hayner squatted beside the man, brow furrowing over dark chocolate eyes and poked him in the cheek.

"Hayner!" both of his friends declared at his rude gesture.

"What?" Hayner demanded. "You asked if he was dead and I'm checking."

A groan rumbled beside him causing Hayner to stumble backwards in surprise. Embarrassed at the gesture because it made him seem like a chicken, he rolled back onto the balls of his feet and peered down at the large blonde with narrowed eyes.

Seifer groaned and blinked blearily up at the figure hovering over him. "Zell?" he asked, reaching a hand up to lightly caress Hayner's cheek. He frowned as if confused, fingers instinctively reaching to trace the pattern of a tattoo that wasn't there.

"…the fuck?!" Hayner declared, skittering back away from the man who he decided was either really out of it or a complete psychopath. Given the scar and tattered sleeves of his gray trench coat, Hayner was leaning towards the latter.

Seifer groaned and sat up, shaking some of the dizziness off. Where was he again? What was the last thing he could remember? He kind of remembered Zell with a gaping hole through his mid-section, but that wasn't possible, Zell was right here. It must have been a bad dream. He rubbed at his eyes, blinked a few times, turned his head, and frowned. "…you're not Zell," he stated flatly.

"Nice of you to notice," Hayner retorted. "Fall through perfectly solid walls often?" Ah, that was a conversation starter if ever there was one.

Seifer blinked a few times. "…what?"

"The wall," Olette chimed in with considerably better manners. "A huge black hole opened up and you fell through. We weren't sure if you were even alive." She leaned her hands on her knees as she spoke so that she'd be closer to eye level with the man, who seemed intent on remaining seated on the ground for the moment.

A black hole? Seifer thought a moment, why did that sound so familiar? Then he remembered. Everyone had been slaughtered. There was darkness everywhere and a huge monster. Zell had… He squeezed his eyes shut a moment, determined not to let the bile rise into his throat or the pain show on his face. Irvine was slaughtered. Squall was traumatized. There had been a silver haired man he was sure could be blamed for everything. And now…well, now he was here, wherever here was.

"Well, as you can see, I'm alive," Seifer said at last pushing up to his feet with a groan, as if he'd just woken up from sleeping in the wrong position for too long. "Where the hell am I?"

He looked around, not recognizing a damn thing even when he pushed the cloth door out of the way.

"Twilight Town," Pence offered before Hayner could say something abrasive and impossible.

"…that so?" Seifer said. "Silver haired guy with a big sword didn't happen to come through ahead of me, did he?" he asked.

"Noooo…" Hayner replied slowly, deciding that this guy was some kind of lunatic after all.

"No, of course not," Seifer muttered. "That would be too easy. Well, see ya."

Hayner, Olette, and Pence exchanged a look and non-verbally decided not to mention that he shouldn't even be walking around in his condition, let alone doing so without help. It was better if he left and they never saw him again, probably. Hayner doubted they would be that lucky.

Outside, Seifer looked at his tattered coat and cursed. "Perfect," he muttered, fumbling around in his pockets to be sure the rest of his things were present and accounted for. "…shit…" he cursed under his breath. No gunblade. No junctions. Not even a damned potion. His favorite jacket was a mess, and the only thing that seemed to survive the trip was that stupid ass kanji cap. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at it, eyes getting momentarily fragile before he pulled it on. Stupid or not, it was a gift. It was a memory, and it seemed his memories, somewhat ironically, were all he had left to rely on, and somewhere out there, there was a silver haired man who he owed a rather serious hello. He swore he'd find him eventually, but for now, weaponless, homeless, and without a friend in the world, Seifer found himself wandering aimlessly through Twilight Town for a long time, void of course.

-----

A/N: There's just something about Hayner that reminds me of Zell. I don't know why, and I don't really know what it is…maybe the big shorts. Regardless, that's why he gets mistaken for Zell at the beginning of this prologue. I can't help it. There's just…_something_ about him.


	2. Chapter 1

Fandom: FFVIII/Kingdom Hearts

Pairing: Seifer/Zell (and possibly others)

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow"

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 1: The Down Side**

Zell cursed under his breath and paced. 'Why am I doing this again?' he wondered. He was sure it was going to somehow blow up in his face if it hadn't already. He hated Seifer. Hated him. Passionately. Seifer called him 'chicken-wuss' all the time and to add insult to insult the large blonde had taken lately to a new insult: 'chocobo head'--a joke about Zell's hair which stuck up in the front like the feathers of a bird. It wasn't his fault! Short of shaving his head, Zell couldn't do anything about the rebellious hairs, and he just didn't think he'd look very good bald.

He looked down at his gauntlets, the metal badly warped from bending against one Iron Giant too many. He'd bent it back into shape, but it didn't fit as well as it used to and Irvine had promised him and Ehrgeiz and 20 hot dogs if he went on this mission with Seifer and made it 'last longer than it has any right to by sheer coincidence'…which meant he had to find ways to make their car break down in the middle of nowhere when they just happened to have enough food and water for weeks, or 'accidentally' drive into a ditch, or 'conveniently forget his junctions' back at the tent. The up side? A free Ehrgeiz and a huge plate of his favorite food. The down side? Seifer Almsay.

Sufficed to say, after being delayed by his commanding officer _seventeen times_--and having to admit that Zell outranked him just about as many--Seifer was livid. They were nowhere even remotely near where they were supposed to be and it was _all that stupid Dincht's_ fault. Fucking chocobo head. Sure, technically Seifer should be thrilled to even be accepted back into Garden after the Ultimecia fiasco. He knew that, he did. It was just that Zell had always, always gotten him so irritable that before he knew it he was spewing off random insults and pacing when the smaller blonde wasn't looking. It had been that way since they were kids. For the longest time, Seifer had been the only one to remember that, but now every time he made such a comment Zell bristled. What the hell was Squall thinking, putting them on a mission together anyway? He was confident he and Zell would never, ever learn to play nice.

"Stop pacing and check the food," Zell griped, finally having enough of the back and forth motion from where he'd been sitting on a dead log taking an inventory of their things. "I'm getting seasick just watching you."

"Well," Seifer sneered. "I wouldn't want to upset your delicate sensibilities." He tried to sound confident, arrogant even, but he was so annoyed it just came off as a little prissy. Damn.

Zell lifted his head to glare at him. Seifer glared back, demanding, "how much longer are we going to be eating chili for anyway?"

"Obviously, until we find, buy, and/or kill something else."

Seifer continued to scowl at him, and so wasn't paying due attention to what he was doing and cursed when his fingers--bare of the gloves he normally wore because he'd just been at the nearby stream washing his hands and face some ten minutes before--came into contact with the side of the pot. "Shit!" he hissed, pulling his hand back.

Zell jumped instinctively and Seifer brought his hand to his lips, nursing the burn by sucking on his fingertips. Zell's tense shoulders relaxed and he rolled his eyes. "I guess dinner's done," he said dryly.

"Chicken-wuss you…!" Seifer started up again but for once Zell didn't go all cute and ballistic over the insult, just squatting in front of Seifer and grabbing the injured hand with a "let me see."

Seifer, sitting on another conveniently placed log, looked down at the martial artist as if he'd grown a new head as he poured a potion over the burned flesh. From this angle Seifer couldn't see those stupid upright hairs that made him think of a chocobo in the front. The back of Zell's neck led into a strong back and from there a slim waist. He chose not to think about anything beyond said waist. In fact, why was he thinking about Zell's physical features at all. 'Just looking for something else good to make fun of him for is all,' he decided. 'But I can't call him a bubble butt, that's for damn sure.'

Wait a minute, hadn't he just told himself he wouldn't think about things below Zell's waistline? Right, he had. It seemed to gay. Never mind that he was currently 'dating' Squall Leonheart--just because he happened to be a little gay didn't mean he had to act like it. But as the potion sped up the healing of his burned flesh he realized, much to his disdain that Zell Dincht _smelled nice_. Now Seifer wasn't exactly monogamous. He had a tendency to sleep with whoever was convenient at the time…but there were some lines he just wasn't willing to cross.

"Idiot," he said, regaining his equilibrium, "you should use another potion and see if it'll fix your chocobo hair."

Zell whacked him in the arm, though not nearly as hard as they both knew he could before saying, "even if you'd said something useful, I can't," he declared. "Since I just had to use the last one on you, jackass."

Seifer blinked, perplexed but determined not to show it, and decided to settle on being angry as Zell ladled out two servings of chili. "Moron!" he demanded. "You wasted our last potion on a little burn like that? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Like I had a choice," Zell snapped back, rising and shaking a bit in anger. "That's the hand you hold your gunblade with. Be more careful, you jackass!"

Seifer blinked, stared. Zell knew what hand he held his gunblade with? He cursed under his breath and reached a hand out to take a bowl of chili--with more care than he'd handled the pot at least.

"Nice to know you care so much," he said, attempting an arrogant drawl but not quite pulling it off as well as he intended, seriously unnerved by the way this conversation was headed.

"Of course I care, bastard. If you can't fight well I'll be the one who has to pick up your slack." Zell didn't look him in the eye as he said so, as if it wasn't even worth it to look at Seifer and blew on a spoonful of chili to cool it.

Disoriented by the conversation, Seifer looked down at his chili and didn't say anything sarcastic--or for that matter anything at all--for a good long while. Zell had managed to say a good few full sentences that didn't make Seifer want to antagonize him. That, Seifer decided, was the down side of this arrangement.


	3. Chapter 2

For sake of argument and anyone reading this fic who hasn't read "First Snow", all from that fic that's really necessary to appreciate this one--probably--is the following:

1. At the start of both fics, Seifer and Squall are a couple. Their relationship is deranged and abusive.

2. Irvine/Squall is one of the major pairings in "First Snow".

3. Zell is Squall's best friend and therefore willing to go to strange lengths to do what's best for him--whether Squall likes it or not.

4. The generic plot line takes place after the end of FFVIII.

Other Notes: This will _most likely_ be a three part series. I am attempting to write the fics in such a way that they can be basically understood/enjoyed on their own, but they'll probably be easier to understand in the scheme of things as a group.

Also, this fic is currently rated T. This rating _may be subject to change_. Please bear that in mind. I suspect future chapters may earn an M rating. It's hard to tell at this point in time though.

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII (with some Kingdom Hearts)

Pairing: Seifer/Zell and others

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow" (pairings in FS are primarily IrvineSquall and LeonCloud)

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 2: The Up Side**

Okay, for the record, Trabia was cold, damn cold. If they could find Trabia Garden, which was mostly rebuilt now, that would be one thing, but Seifer and Zell were lost…and there was a storm…and Zell, Zell was in shorts. Way to go on the forethought, Zell.

"I miss Balamb," he muttered. Balamb was warm nearly all year round, always nice and temperate and never _ever_ as cold as Trabia in winter. He shivered and barely managed to keep his teeth from clattering as he squinted in the distance looking for dark areas that might be caves or _something_ warm and dry.

Seifer had zipped up his coat, but that didn't keep a chilly draft from sweeping up under the hem and dancing across his otherwise bare abdomen. Even so, for once there were no sarcastic remarks out of the larger blonde. Zell was suffering enough for the moment and it was more important to find somewhere warm and dry to cast a fire and try to get the feeling back into their limbs than it was to entertain his usual machismo. It could just be his eyes playing tricks on him, but Zell's lips really were looking a little too blue right about now. His own, he imagined, weren't much better.

This was one distraction Zell had definitely not planned for. His whole body was starting to feel numb and sluggish. Seifer wasn't much better off, but better at hiding it. Seifer sighed and shoved his gloves into Zell's hand. "Here. Put them on."

"How valiant of you," Zell managed teeth chattering towards the end of the sentence.

"Shut up, chicken-wuss. You need them more than I do."

It was a testament to Zell's current condition that he just muttered. "I'll kill you for that…later," and relented.

Seifer didn't say anything, shoving his now bare hands into the pockets of his trench coat.

It was another hour before they found a cave carved out at the bottom of a gully. Neither had said another word in that time. The landscape was such that it was going to be a bitch to get out once the storm had passed, but they weren't really worried about that for the time being. With an entrance only large enough for one man to squeeze inside at a time if he ducked his head and a landscape that descended on all three sides around the mouth of the cave, the snow thinned by the entrance, leaving the impression that there was none at all beyond it.

Seifer cursed under his breath at seeing the tiny hole. "…too small…" he muttered as if it was just his luck.

"It might be bigger inside," Zell said. "Let's try anyway. I can hardly move." Every joint ached. Seifer might not want to admit it, but Zell was too tired and cold for bravado right now. They could make up for it later when they were somewhere with heat, in dry, warm clothes. He didn't think there was a dry stitch anywhere on him and Seifer, hair in disarray and tossing wetly about in the wind, certainly didn't seem much better off.

Seifer didn't put up any further fight. He wasn't the type for hoping, but he didn't have much else to go on right now and Zell probably wouldn't last long enough to find another cavern as far as he could tell. It wasn't that he cared if Zell lasted or not, per say, but if Seifer returned to Balamb without him or with his corpse for that matter, Squall was going to be pissed, and a pissed Squall was all kinds of bad. For one, it meant Seifer wasn't getting laid…and then there were all the complications of Squall taking out his anger on Seifer when he found his best friend a cold, dead, corpse in a block of ice--like the cavemen in cartoons.

The cavern was large enough for two after all. It went pretty deep, but rather than get lost inside they moved in deep enough to be out of the wind only. The roof here was a bit higher too. Zell could walk normally and Seifer was able to stand at a slouch to keep his head from bumping the ceiling. Once he was sitting down it wouldn't matter. He slung the pack off of his shoulder, a slight shudder from the cold running down his spine. "We'd better see what's salvageable first," he said and Zell did the same, digging around in his bag--the heavier of the two--even Zell had a male ego to look out for, and Seifer really wasn't about to argue if it meant he didn't have to carry the heavier bag.

This shuffling was the only sound for a long few moments before Seifer said "matches are waterlogged, spare clothes need to dry for about a week, but the emergency blanket feels like there's only a few damp spots." Seifer had deliberately packed it on the side of the pack facing his back so he didn't have little doodads poking him in the spine all day-- now that proved a saving grace.

"Well," Zell sighed, cold smoke parting his lips. "On the up side," he said, "at least we've got plenty of chili." He held up a can, and given their situation Seifer actually laughed softly at the smaller blonde's sense of humor. Whether Seifer was sure after this mission he never wanted to see a can of chili or not, all he had on his mind right now was that chili is _warm._ For once, Zell had a point.

"Pop open a can then," he said. "I'll get some of these twigs and what dry bits of magazine I can salvage to start a fire." He was courteous enough, just this once, to pretend not to notice that Zell's hands were shaking so badly that he dropped the can three times before managing to attach the can opener, or the clattering sound of the can clinking against the pot as he poured. It wasn't much of a fire. It sputtered fitfully to life, but Seifer figured they'd probably be able to get a good four hours or so out of it before having to trudge deeper into the cave in the vain hope of finding more twigs, and hopefully not finding a bear or some other more violent creature in the process.

He shrugged out of his sopping jacket telling Zell, "once the pot's on, take off your clothes."

"I--I know that already!" Zell sputtered. Logically, anyway. Logically he knew wet clothes were NOT the thing to hang onto when you were trying not to freeze to death. He understood all those things about body heat on an intellectual level at least, but being naked and sharing an emergency blanket with an equally naked Seifer did not seem promising. Even so, he forced away his knee jerk reaction and stripped down. "Try anything funny and I'll kill you," he informed, shivering and hugging his knees to his chest to retain what modesty he could.

"Yeah, like you have even an ounce of sex appeal, Dincht," Seifer retorted. It was probably the first time Seifer Almsay had called Zell Dincht anything other than an insulting nickname in his life, at least as far as Zell could remember and he was slightly taken aback by it.

They curled up together in the blanket with plenty of awkwardness but not another word, waiting for the chili to heat up. The way Seifer pulled Zell against him for said body heat--roughly, as if he didn't really want him there but had no choice in the matter--forced Zell to rest his head on the larger blonde's shoulder if he hoped to be even remotely comfortable.

The down side, Seifer thought: being intimately close to the most irritating man on the planet. …the up side? Zell was _warm_ and oddly _comfortable_…

…and they had plenty of chili.

-----

_To Reviewers:_

_DeadnightWarrior: _I do hope you'll be able to understand and enjoy the fic without having read the previous one, but they occur in the same basic time frame, so maybe it'll still make sense. It's hard to say. A few references to the other story may leave you going 'huh?' but the basic storyline should be able to stand on it's own…I think…maybe… well, whatever the case, I hope you like it.


	4. Chapter 3A

**IMPORTANT NOTES: The rating of this fiction has been changed to M. However, the story itself can be enjoyed with or without the scene that caused said rating. As such I will be uploading two versions of this chapter.**

**The (A) Version: LIME. Graphic sexual content is removed, but some more vague mention of intimate contact remains.**

**The (B) Version: LEMON. Contains Graphic Sexual Content not suitable for minors.**

**(A) Version can be found below. For (B) Version, please skip directly to Chapter 3B.**

**Choose whichever is your preference. I don't want to turn people off to the story as a whole because they find lemons 'icky' or anything, and I don't write lemons for my health, but there are times I think they are appropriate to the story. The (A) Version exists for those of you who disagree.**

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII (and Kingdom Hearts)

Pairing: SeiferZell (with mentions of IrvineSquall and others)

Warnings: Boy/Boy Love.

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow".

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 3(A): Love to Hate You**

It had been three days now. He'd been trapped in this cave with an emergency blanket, Zell Dincht, and a stockpile of chili for three days. And every time he woke up in those days Seifer had the same problem: there was a warm, firm body curled against his side, a hand resting limply against his bare calf, and soft breath against his collarbone that caused certain parts of his anatomy to pay a bit more attention to their surroundings than he would like them to. It was Zell, after all. _Zell_. Seifer had always thought 'not if he was the last man on earth', but his body, as of late, didn't seem to want to agree with him. He lived in constant fear that Zell would wake up, move his hand just two and a half inches to the right and notice. It was to his great relief--and disdain--that Zell never did. Relief because it would be a hell of an awkward situation. Disdain because waiting it out and trying to force his mind onto completely un-arousing topics day in and day out was becoming more and more of a chore.

He and Zell didn't have much to say to one another. They'd hated each other so long the possibility of coexistence seemed completely ridiculous. And yet, here they were…naked in one another's arms. Seifer didn't miss the irony. But more importantly, while Zell was still asleep…ah what to think about…Taxes! No…Seifer was a SeeD now, he didn't really need to worry about taxes…School! Oh wait, no, he was out of school. Chili. Absolutely. Chili was the least sexy thing in existence. Three meals a day of chili an all you could think of was how brown and messy and slimy it was, and how it really kind of looked like dog food and…

Zell shifted against his side in his sleep with a soft moan. Seifer figured it was a 'nooo, I don't want to wake up yet!' moan, but all thoughts of the nastiness that is Chili flew right out of his brain when something firm brushed against his thigh and he realized Zell was having a very, very good dream.

Seifer bit his lip, determined to 'be good'. If asked why it was so important his only answer would be 'because it's Zell'. Seifer was not known for his monogamous nature. In fact most people were sure he didn't have a monogamous bone in his entire body. He tended to agree with those people. Even if he technically had a boyfriend that had never once stopped him from sleeping around, and yet…something in Seifer had deemed Zell 'off limits'. After all, he hated Zell. He hated that stupid chocobo hair, and those blue puppy dog eyes, and the way he got over-excitable when called 'chicken-wuss' and you just _had to_ laugh at him and think about how much he'd grown up from being a little cry baby back in their orphanage days…and he hated the way Zell rubbed up against him in the midst of his pleasant dreams, thinking he was someone else.

…and he hated the way his body responded.

His mind spun and before it could catch up with his body he tackled Zell to the ground. Startled into consciousness, Zell blinked up into dangerously narrowed eyes. "Sei--?" he didn't finish even that much before Seifer crushed their lips together in a hungry, bruising kiss. Zell's eyes widened in shock. He didn't even manage the presence of mind to struggle.

"I hate you," Seifer panted when he released Zell's lips. "…more than anyone else. Never forget that."

Zell opened his mouth to answer but wasn't given the opportunity as Seifer descended again. He felt the other man's hardness against his inner thigh and stilled in surprise again. 'N-no way…' the smaller blonde thought. He was strong, strong enough to push Seifer off, surely but…why didn't he? Why? When his mouth was given back to him for a few moments as Seifer's mouth worked its way across his jaw and down his throat he said, breathing heavily, "…I hate you too."

The words, though, he knew, as Seifer became more eager and he himself got swept away into the pure physical rush of it all, didn't really mean a thing.


	5. Chapter 3B

**IMPORTANT NOTES: The rating of this fiction has been changed to M. However, the story itself can be enjoyed with or without the scene that caused said rating. As such I will be uploading two versions of this chapter.**

**The (A) Version: LIME. Graphic sexual content is removed, but some more vague mention of intimate contact remains.**

**The (B) Version: LEMON. Contains Graphic Sexual Content not suitable for minors.**

**(B) Version can be found below. For (A) Version, please head back one chapter to chapter 3A.**

**Choose whichever is your preference. I don't want to turn people off to the story as a whole because they find lemons 'icky' or anything, and I don't write lemons for my health, but there are times I think they are appropriate to the story. The (A) Version exists for those of you who disagree.**

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII (and Kingdom Hearts)

Pairing: SeiferZell (with mentions of IrvineSquall and others)

Warnings: Boy/Boy Love.

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow".

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 3(B): Love to Hate You**

It had been three days now. He'd been trapped in this cave with an emergency blanket, Zell Dincht, and a stockpile of chili for three days. And every time he woke up in those days Seifer had the same problem: there was a warm, firm body curled against his side, a hand resting limply against his bare calf, and soft breath against his collarbone that caused certain parts of his anatomy to pay a bit more attention to their surroundings than he would like them to. It was Zell, after all. _Zell_. Seifer had always thought 'not if he was the last man on earth', but his body, as of late, didn't seem to want to agree with him. He lived in constant fear that Zell would wake up, move his hand just two and a half inches to the right and notice. It was to his great relief--and disdain--that Zell never did. Relief because it would be a hell of an awkward situation. Disdain because waiting it out and trying to force his mind onto completely un-arousing topics day in and day out was becoming more and more of a chore.

He and Zell didn't have much to say to one another. They'd hated each other so long the possibility of coexistence seemed completely ridiculous. And yet, here they were…naked in one another's arms. Seifer didn't miss the irony. But more importantly, while Zell was still asleep…ah what to think about…Taxes! No…Seifer was a SeeD now, he didn't really need to worry about taxes…School! Oh wait, no, he was out of school. Chili. Absolutely. Chili was the least sexy thing in existence. Three meals a day of chili an all you could think of was how brown and messy and slimy it was, and how it really kind of looked like dog food and…

Zell shifted against his side in his sleep with a soft moan. Seifer figured it was a 'nooo, I don't want to wake up yet!' moan, but all thoughts of the nastiness that is Chili flew right out of his brain when something firm brushed against his thigh and he realized Zell was having a very, very good dream.

Seifer bit his lip, determined to 'be good'. If asked why it was so important his only answer would be 'because it's Zell'. Seifer was not known for his monogamous nature. In fact most people were sure he didn't have a monogamous bone in his entire body. He tended to agree with those people. Even if he technically had a boyfriend that had never once stopped him from sleeping around, and yet…something in Seifer had deemed Zell 'off limits'. After all, he hated Zell. He hated that stupid chocobo hair, and those blue puppy dog eyes, and the way he got over-excitable when called 'chicken-wuss' and you just _had to_ laugh at him and think about how much he'd grown up from being a little cry baby back in their orphanage days…and he hated the way Zell rubbed up against him in the midst of his pleasant dreams, thinking he was someone else.

…and he hated the way his body responded.

His mind spun and before it could catch up with his body he tackled Zell to the ground. Startled into consciousness, Zell blinked up into dangerously narrowed eyes. "Sei--?" he didn't finish even that much before Seifer crushed their lips together in a hungry, bruising kiss. Zell's eyes widened in shock. He didn't even manage the presence of mind to struggle.

"I hate you," Seifer panted when he released Zell's lips. "…more than anyone else. Never forget that."

Zell opened his mouth to answer but wasn't given the opportunity as Seifer descended again. He felt the other man's hardness against his inner thigh and stilled in surprise again. 'N-no way…' the smaller blonde thought. He was strong, strong enough to push Seifer off, surely but…why didn't he? Why? When his mouth was given back to him for a few moments as Seifer's mouth worked its way across his jaw and down his throat he said, breathing heavily, "…I hate you too."

The words though, he knew, didn't really mean a thing as a soft gasp escaped his throat and his body arched against his will as Seifer began to suckle on his earlobe, calloused fingertips exploring his bare flesh. He realized, much to his shame, that Seifer wasn't the only one aroused, but his mind couldn't quite get around that subject at the moment.

Seifer suckled on Zell's collarbone, calloused fingertips exploring every inch of flesh they could find until eventually they stumbled across a bronze nipple and teased it to a hard point. He shouldn't be doing this. His mind knew it but his body was telling his mind to kindly shut the hell up. He could agonize over what made Zell so different than everyone else later if it was something beyond their mutual hate, which it probably wasn't anyway, right? Right. His lips closed around Zell's other nipple as his hands started exploring lower, dancing over wonderfully firm abs and slim hips.

Zell arched and moaned. Damn traitorous body. His fingertips clawed at the dirt floor of the cave as some excessively stupid voice in the back of his mind commented, 'well, you're not cold _now_ are you?' Zell might have made a smart reply, if Seifer's hands didn't start groping his ass at that precise moment. It wasn't that it was Seifer, Zell decided. It had just been a really long time so he was a little more sensitive than he wanted to admit. He made the mistake of opening his eyes in time to see Seifer slipping moist digits out of his lips. Had Seifer done that for Squall. Some part of Zell doubted it, but why he was doing it for Zell was a mystery. He relaxed as well as he could, relenting. He somehow knew that between them there was no way out of this. It was inevitable, somehow fated. He couldn't stop it any more than he could keep the sun from rising.

Seifer bit the inside of his cheek as Zell arched and moaned, muscles clamping around his finger. Hyne he was tight! Seifer was anxious to sate his hormones, but something stopped him from just flipping the smaller blonde over and taking him, Zell's suffering be damned, something intangible. He never did this for Squall or his other conquests. For them it was all raw hunger and need, but he found himself not fully in control of his actions as his fingers scissor and stretched, as he watched Zell with liquid eyes as the martial artist squeezed his eyes shut, or tried not to cry out, or made a disgusted face when his body arched wantonly against the larger one pinning him down.

But Seifer was only so patient a man and before long he was spreading Zell's legs apart and pushing smoothly inside. He moaned from somewhere deep in the back of his throat, eyes lidding and chin tilting backwards. Hyne yes! Some part of his mind wondered why he'd been so adamant about not fucking Zell up to now. He felt amazing--strong, tight, hot, possibly the best ass of all time. He adjusted himself to hover over the other male, chests only a breath apart, sloppy kisses planted on neck and throat and lips as he began to thrust, more eager for the sound of Zell's hoarse moans as the martial artist's fingertips dug into his back just a little roughly, not scratching, but the pads grasping for purchase, something to hold onto. Seifer left kiss marks and love bites anywhere he could find the space for them. He didn't think of the reason for it--his hate for Zell, he'd claim later, made him want to embarrass him. It had nothing to do with the desire to claim or own. That couldn't be.

When Seifer's hand finally reached for his aching cock, Zell sobbed in bliss. If he'd ever thought of sex with Seifer Almsay before this he'd imagined it to be a rough, base, and banal thing. He didn't imagine it was possible to feel such pleasure, or that the man would ever be so careful and passionate. His fingers threaded in the larger man's honey-gold hair and he let Seifer plunder his mouth as many times as he desired. By the time Seifer took his throbbing cock in hand, Zell had already lost all sense of right and wrong. Despite the cold temperature outside his body was burning up. Seifer felt so good inside of him, plunging in over and over and over…

…swallowing him so hungrily, so completely. Seifer moaned, kissing Zell hard on the mouth as he climaxed, feeling the other's seed squirting into his hand at the same time. He was sure it was the hardest he'd ever climaxed in his life. He felt as if Zell was sucking his soul out through his member and eventually it took all of his strength to collapse beside the martial artist instead of on top of him. He panted for breath, pulling Zell up to cuddle against his side and licking the seed off of his fingers in a satiated daze as Zell grunted and pulled the emergency blanket up over them again.

"…I really hate you," Zell informed him as his brain sifted back. Oh god…he'd just had sex with _Seifer Almsay_, not only the man he hated most in the world, but his best friend's lover! Oh god oh god oh god! His shoulders tensed. This was so incredibly bad!

"Feeling's mutual," Seifer yawned, not sure if he believed it or not anymore but deciding he didn't care for the moment and turned his head to swallow Zell's lips in one more hungry kiss.

Zell tensed, but relented, not sure why he couldn't seem to push Seifer away, but deciding he really didn't care to think too hard on the subject. He might not like what he figured out.

"…but at least now we're warm," Seifer finished.

Zell blushed faintly but found he had no idea how to reply. There were a number of reasons that this was incredibly bad and wrong and just…just…_completely messed up_. He'd think about them all in detail, later, after a short nap, but for the moment settled for answering "…I guess you're good for something after all."

Seifer frowned at the top of Zell's head as the smaller blonde's eyes drifted closed, getting the sinking feeling he'd just made a glaringly obvious error that was really going to bite him in the ass when he least expected it.


	6. Chapter 4

Update Notes: Will try to keep to pace, but it might be Tuesday/Wednesday until I have the chance to write the next chapter. Packing sucks, what can I say beyond that?

Fandom: FFVIII(also, a little Kingdom Hearts)

Pairing: SeiferZell(with mentions of others)

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow"

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

Update Notes: For those of you following the story, I try to add a chapter every day or two. With any amount of luck I'll be able to stick to that.

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 4: Hate to Love You**

It was another two days before the storm passed. Two days worth of saying hardly a word to one another and plenty of time to think. They didn't do it again, but only because Zell was so adamant and Seifer, bastard that he could be, was no rapist; he wasn't going to force him even if he hinted on one or two occasions about 'killing time'.

It was a week later now and Seifer found himself enjoying a nice, hot shower in the guest dormitory of Trabia Garden as his mind drifted back over recent events. Somewhere, he knew, Zell must be doing the same, probably only in the next room, or somewhere down the hall. He felt disgustingly dirty after spending a week in a cave and while in the presence of someone just as dirty he didn't notice as much, their return to civilization made him feel like he could shower for days on end and still not be rid of all the grime. It wasn't the only thing he was trying to be rid of. His behavior that day with Zell was unfounded and wholly uncalled for. He knew it was a solitary event and something about that bit at him.

He turned off the shower, dressed, and shaved, sighing in relief to see himself looking presentable again, even if his clothes were being cleaned and he was stuck in green track pants and a t-shirt with the word TRABIA in garish capital letters across his chest. "…so lame…" he muttered about the outfit, but let it be--at least it was clean and warm.

A knock on the door distracted him from his busy thoughts and he called, "It's open," as he slicked his hair back.

The person who entered was the one he'd hoped not to see until he'd figured out what was going on in his own head. Zell Dincht. Zell's outfit was the same, but hung more loosely around the hips, bunching at the ankles, but the neat fit around his shoulders and chest reminded Seifer what he looked like underneath. "You got your feathers back," Seifer teased, noting the chocobo-like hairstyle.

"I'll kill you," Zell retorted, for once not shaking or getting overly angry--after their cave escapades he just didn't have the energy to bother. He was too disoriented. His mind kept coming back to what he'd let Seifer do to him and why, and he never was able to figure out the 'why' of it. His brain shut down right around that part and he started feeling nauseous. "It's time to eat," Zell said to cover the awkwardness. "Cafeteria's open, so unless you want more chili you'd better hurry up."

He turned to leave before Seifer said, "hang on a sec and let me put on shoes. I'll walk with you."

"Like I want to walk with _you_," Zell retorted, but didn't leave.

"You're gonna have to be my peace negotiator," Seifer replied. "If you recall, last time I was here they gave me the death penalty."

"Yeah yeah, rumors of your demise were greatly exaggerated, unfortunately," Zell replied.

Seifer frowned slightly in thought. Why wasn't he getting annoyed with Zell about now? This was about the point where he would say something that he knew would get Zell all agitated and riled up because the smaller blonde was annoying him but…for some reason he just…didn't want to. He tied his shoes in silence and stood, getting a sinking feeling his rash behavior in the cave had altered things between them for good. Neither of them could forget about it, but it didn't seem that Zell was half as interested in reliving the experience as he was.

He rose suddenly and kissed Zell hard on the mouth. Zell pushed against his chest at first, but Seifer held him tight until he relented with a soft sigh. For a long moment Seifer forgot that he'd done it to rile up the martial artist and found himself just enjoying the taste and feel of Zell's mouth against his. When he did release the kiss, Zell shoved him away, shaking in rage. "What the hell was that for!?" he demanded.

Seifer laughed heartily and said, "an appetizer, of course" before strolling down the hall. Zell fumed behind him which Seifer decided wasn't annoying at all but absolutely adorable. He almost stumbled at that line of thought. Could it possibly be that he…all this time…didn't hate Zell at all? No. _No_, he refused to believe it. If he followed that train of thought any further, he knew, it would be the end of him. The feeling, given Zell's over-reaction to a simple thing like a kiss, obviously wasn't mutual. Something about that stung a little, but Seifer pretended not to notice. Falling for Zell Dincht? Impossible. He'd never forgive himself if he did something that ridiculous.

-----

Zell tried to pretend he didn't know what it was he was leaning against, tried to pretend he was too out of it from that tail swipe the T-Rexaur gave him to know whose hands were under his shirt, tenderly checking for anything broken…but they both knew he wasn't half as out of it as he wanted to believe. Zell Dincht, if nothing else, could take a hit and bounce back in almost no time. He'd been off his game lately. With the stormy season at hand, the Headmaster of Trabia Garden didn't want them to get stuck in the foul weather again and insisted they stay a few weeks. He'd contacted Balamb Garden to assure everyone they were alright, and was happy to talk to former Trabia Student, Selphie Tilmitt, on the matter, and said she assured him that she would pass the message on. Zell knew she wouldn't, but that Squall probably wasn't thinking about them at all right now if Irvine had made any headway.

And so, it had been two weeks now of Seifer messing with him, suddenly kissing him for no reason, or saying something suggestive, or groping his rear end. He hated Seifer, really he did, but he also understood that Irvine Kinneas wasn't the only one trying to seduce someone this winter. That moment of weakness in the cave had changed everything. If only Seifer was someone else, _anyone else_, because Zell admitted to himself, albeit reluctantly, that he like the feel of those large hands exploring the currently bared flesh of his midsection and he had the sinking feeling Seifer was rather enjoying the exploring, which, for the record, was a bad thing. Very bad. Bad in a number of ways. So Zell decided it was better to pretend he was in denial, pretend he didn't know who was making him feel this way, whose breath he could feel on his cheek, whose touch reminded him of a very different, much needier touch.

Seifer, on the other hand, didn't seem to want to play along. Zell tensed as the larger man's lips brushed his cheek, a whisper of "just a scratch," ghosting across his earlobe soon replaced by more firm kisses down his throat.

'I'm weak,' Zell thought. 'Why am I so weak when it comes to him lately?'

"Zell," Seifer murmured, and the martial artist decided it was the way Seifer had taken to saying his name. "We're all alone, you know. Just the two of us. Even the monsters have run off."

"…No," Zell answered, but didn't sound as firm about it as he had as of late so Seifer pushed a little more, touching his hip, running his fingers down his spine. Zell shuddered involuntarily. He hated this. He hated how much he liked this. He hated that his brain was starting to agree with his body on the point that maybe, just maybe, Seifer wasn't so bad.

Seifer noticed the hesitance though, and like all the other times when Zell hesitated, Seifer pushed harder, knowing he only needed to get the smaller man a little more riled up before he relented. For the past weeks it had only been a kiss now and again before Zell thought better of it and pushed him away, but Seifer was sure he was wearing him down and today, maybe, he would relent at last. When he claimed Zell's lips this time, the other man didn't protest as much as was his habit. Seifer took that as a very, very good sign. He didn't know why he wanted him so badly. There were more willing, more handsome men in the world, but the need was like an itch you can't scratch—wriggle and writhe as much as you'd like—it never really goes away. He hated this. He hated how much he wanted Zell. He hated everything about it, but didn't know how to stop.

How do we stop? They both wanted the answer to that question. How far do we have to go before there's no turning back from all of this? As Seifer's hand slid down to the zipper of Zell's shorts, he thought maybe he'd already taken things too far to stop now. He loathed the day he might have to admit it.

-----

_To Reviewers:_

_AlescA_ _& Miyo Yukimura: _ Thanks, doing my best with it.

_shrouded-obsession:_ No worries! Glad you're still with me regardless. More coming soon, with any amount of luck.


	7. Chapter 5

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII (also, Kingdom Hearts)

Pairing: SeiferZell (with mention of others)

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow"

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 5: Long Goodbyes**

It was the middle of the night when Seifer found himself creeping into the infirmary. He felt a little guilty, really. After all, this really was his fault…again. He sat down next to Zell, pushing a few strands of hair away from the bandage wrapped around his head, careful not to wake the martial artist. "I hate long goodbyes," he said quietly, "so I've decided not to say goodbye at all, and I'm bad at apologies, so I won't waste your time with a pathetic attempt at 'I'm sorry'." He sighed. "I don't even know what I'm trying to tell you. I wish things didn't have to be this way, I guess. That's all."

---

TEN HOURS EARLIER…

---

Seifer cursed under his breath. Over the past two months waiting out the stormy season at Trabia Garden, he hadn't really given much thought to anything but seducing Zell. In that time he'd come to understand that stubbornness was a quality one could accept in themselves and still detest in others. Zell's stubborn streak was maddening. He'd managed to catch a few moments of weakness, but they never lasted. He hadn't actively decided to forsake all others in his efforts but somehow it had happened before he realized it and now that they were back in Balamb Seifer's mind returned to someone he hadn't thought of in far too long--his boyfriend. Seifer imagined Squall took this whole boyfriend thing more seriously than he did, but that didn't matter for the moment. Some training and rough sex might be just what the doctor ordered. He was feeling so...edgy. He just needed something to take his mind off it all for a while and assumed that, like always, if he went to Squall's room, he would find Balamb's Commander patiently waiting. It was an assumption that had proved 100 accurate for the past two years, but this time...no Squall.

He tried their spot in the training area next--still no Squall. Annoyed now he wasted some time beating anything that crossed his path to a pulp. He couldn't very well head up to Squall's office to look for him--he was sadly lacking in rank for that trip--only allowed with express permission which for some reason Squall Leonheart had never seen fit to give him even though their relationship had never been much of a secret. Damn him! Where was that damn moody brunette when he needed him?!

It was then, rather irritated, that he found Zell laughing it up with the library girl over some joke. Infuriated further for no apparent reason, he suddenly grabbed Zell by the collar. This time there would be no kissing. Nope. No plundering Zell's mouth today, no licking those lips, slightly parted in surprise. Today he was dead set on fucking Squall senseless...as soon as he managed to find him, and Zell just so happened to be Squall's best friend.

"Where is he?!" Seifer demanded.

Zell blinked. "Where's who?" What the hell was going on? On the one hand, he was kind of glad Seifer wasn't groping him in front of everyone. On the other he was kind of wondering why he wasn't.

"Squall, of course," Seifer demanded, not noticing the slight panic and hurt that shot through Zell's eyes against his will. He didn't realize how cruel it was of him to obsess over one man for months and then remind him of all the impossibilities and complications. It wasn't that Zell wanted Seifer. He was sure he didn't--wouldn't--couldn't possibly...but there was still something about it that sucked. "You're his best friend, so you'll know better than anyone where he goes," Seifer insisted.

"I don't know," Zell replied. He wasn't going to be the one to tell Seifer that he, most likely, had been dumped. "He does what he wants. I'm not his babysitter."

Oblivious to the situation, the library girl blinked a few times. "Did you try Irvine's room?" she offered innocently.

Seifer twitched and looked at Zell. Bad liar that he was, Zell had a very distinctly 'oh shit' look on his face. Seifer grit his teeth and asked very evenly. "Zell, why would Squall be in Irvine's room?" He didn't ask the library girl. He asked Zell. He had this delusion that Zell, somehow, wouldn't lie to him. Zell had been lying to him about this particular subject all along.

"How should I know?!" he demanded, rather defensively. "He's allowed to have friends."

Zell didn't look him in the eye. That alone told him all he needed to know. Seifer was angry, that didn't make him an idiot. He'd noticed long ago the way Irvine looked at Squall when he didn't think anyone was paying attention. He noticed the way Irvine managed to make Squall smile. He just didn't think Squall would ever, ever respond to the cowboy in that way. Unlike Seifer, Squall was the one guy at a time type and he'd been the one to first approach Seifer. He'd taken for granted that Squall would always be his no matter how many times and ways he hurt him. It wasn't that he cared for the brunette all that much--he was pretty and good in bed, sure, but beyond the physical they didn't have much. It was just the idea that someone else was taking what he didn't particularly want in the first place that enraged him. Squall was _his_. Period. The End. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.

He dropped Zell, spun on his heel and stalked towards the dormitory. Zell forgot his own issues with Seifer for the moment and made room for the one, most important thought 'crap crap crap crap!' He launched after Seifer, doing his best to pull the man back, and failing--Seifer was too angry to pay him much mind. He was still clinging to Seifer's arm, heels digging into the tile as Seifer slammed the door open and demanded Squall get up and come with him _right now_.

Squall, wise enough to look a little guilty, said no.

Zell gave Irvine a look, an 'I'm sorry, I tried!' look and before he managed to take in much else of what was happening, he was flung away, slamming head first into a nearby wall. He fought to remain conscious and lost.

Since then he'd been in and out of it most the day. He'd been brought to Dr. Kadowaki's office and now lay in a bed with his head bandaged. In the next room, Irvine was in a much worse state. Zell wasn't sure what had happened exactly, but he did know that it had to do with Seifer and they didn't think Irvine was going to make it. Damn drugs. It was just a headache and they'd given him something that had him falling in and out of consciousness every ten minutes it felt like. He wanted to get out of bed and check on the others but the room was doing this spinny thing. He didn't hold it against his friends that they didn't come to visit. He just had a minor head wound and Irvine might die...besides, he probably wasn't much of a conversationalist if he couldn't even stay awake long enough to hold one. Ugh...his head hurt...

---

_"...I wish things didn't have to be this way, I guess. That's all."_ The words sifted through Zell's brain for a long moment before he registered that there was a voice attached to them, a person.

His hand reached out toward the sound and latched onto some kind of fabric and he whispered, "Seifer?" eyes opening slightly. Hyne, his head ached.

Seifer had begun to stand to leave when Zell's hand suddenly latched onto his lapel. The smaller blonde was wearing such a pained, confused expression that Seifer was afraid to move for an extended moment. What should he do? He had to leave. He couldn't stay here now. He'd stabbed Irvine and now the sharpshooter was going to die. He was a murderer. The murder just hadn't finished running its course yet. It didn't matter if it was mostly an accident. Afterwards, he'd left Garden wandered around for a long while and come to terms with a lot of things. The most important one for the moment was that he didn't want to leave Zell. It was a strange sort of realization. He'd spent so much time insisting that he didn't care about the martial artist, that it was only a seducing game, that it was only that he was good in bed...

...when he finally admitted there was more to it than that it had left him with a painful sense of peace. 'I want you. Be mine,' he thought the words at Zell that he couldn't say. 'Come away with me, somewhere that no one knows about SeeD or Garden, somewhere that no one knows our names.' But Seifer could never say such a thing. It was too wimpy. It admitted too much vulnerability from someone who insisted, always, on strength.

"Go back to sleep," he said, forcing a smirk and adding, "I'll give you a kiss goodnight."

"Already slept all day," Zell muttered, still slightly dazed but lucid enough to tell it was late at night and follow the conversation. "What's goin' on?"

"...I have to leave," Seifer said. "Just came to see if you were still in one piece."

Zell understood how much more there was to that statement than what Seifer said. It had an undertone of 'I don't want to leave' and 'I care about you' and maybe just a hint of 'I'm an idiot and I'm sorry.' The martial artist grunted and sat up, clutching his dizzy head with one hand. Seifer didn't help him as he swayed for a long moment; they both had too much pride. When he finished swaying, Zell leaned up and, initiating it for the first time, kissed Seifer softly on the mouth. It was inevitable anyway. Maybe it was the drugs, but somehow he just knew it was pointless to resist it now. "You're an idiot," he whispered against Seifer's mouth. "But I understand. You just don't play well with others."

Zell certainly had a way of making things hard now that Seifer was finally admitting he wanted to keep him. He didn't want Zell to be with anyone else, ever. He'd had a violent reaction when he found out Squall had been cheating on him, only because he felt betrayed and he'd been angry at Zell for knowing and not telling him, and then when he'd seen the significant look the other blonde gave Irvine and knew he was in on it and that had enraged him. But after hours of wandering around in the caves and wildernesses near Balamb Seifer had come to terms with it all. He couldn't hate Zell. He'd hated him so long it's as if he'd run out of juice for it all at once. And he felt kind of guilty about killing Irvine--he was sure the cowboy would die from a wound like that. ...and he didn't really care whether or not he ever had sex with Squall again or even spoke to him. They'd never been friends in the first place. Even when they were lovers they didn't really like each other much.

...and here was Zell, all grown up, kissing him, leaning against his shoulder, saying he 'understands'. And Seifer was sure this might be the last time they ever saw one another. He wrapped his arms around Zell a little reluctantly, finding this all felt too final. Zell, he knew, wasn't leaning against his shoulder out of love but because his head ached and he was fighting off a dizzy spell, but Seifer wasn't above taking advantage of that. It was his fault Zell was injured in the first place. He hated himself for that...just a little.

"You were in on it," Seifer said at last.

Zell winced a little. Guilty as charged, your honor. "Irvine is better for Squall than you are," he answered. "You were a bastard of a boyfriend. You're still kind of a bastard. I never meant for it to go this far."

"Well," Seifer said trying not to sound as reluctant as he felt. "This is as far as it goes. I won't miss any of this. Garden. SeeD. Squall. I won't miss you either," he threw in stubbornly, though it gave away what he was really thinking--that he was going to miss Zell more than anyone. "Even Fuujin and Raijin. They can stay behind and I won't care the least little bit."

"You talk too much, jerk wad," Zell threw in--if they could just somehow revert to their behavior all of this maybe it would make their feelings somehow revert too.

Seifer opened his mouth to say something like 'what of it, chicken-wuss?' or something that would drive Zell crazy but the words that spilled past his lips against his will were "I hate you." Which was really Seifer for 'I love you' and they both knew it. "I hate that you don't even care if I leave."

"I hate you back," Zell said, drugs making him woozy now and tired of beating around the bush. "I hate that you've made me love you, even though I know what an asshole you are."

Seifer squeezed Zell a little tighter and kissed him again. This time, Zell didn't resist or hesitate and that spoke volumes. "I hate long goodbyes," Seifer said again. He hadn't intended to say goodbye at all, but Zell had woken up and here they were. He kissed Zell again as if he could somehow remember the shape and taste of his lips in the doing.

"I hate goodbyes," Zell answered, forcing himself to end this ever-so touching scene and pulling away from the embrace and rolling over onto his side, facing away from Seifer. On the other side of the wall he stared at, Irvine was in critical condition. "So if you're leaving, then hurry up and leave. That's the best thing for everyone. I won't miss you when you're gone."

"I won't even remember your name, chocobo-head," Seifer retorted.

It was reverse logic. They both knew what was really being said. 'I miss you. I love you. I am so very, very sorry.' But none of those things mattered anymore.

---

_To Reviewers:_

_AgentOz: _Almasy? Really? checks huh. Sure enough. Doesn't exactly roll trippingly off the tongue, does it? Ah well, it's been a while since I've played ff8, so I'll use that excuse. I'm not going to go back and change it, but I'll take care to spell it correctly in the future. And thanks. A bouncy happy-go-lucky Zell just wouldn't quite be able to pull his weight in this one and I think to some degree the Ultimecia incident probably made everyone grow up--and so a somewhat more grounded Zell came into being. I blame it on maturing and not my suckiness. Heh. Regardless, thanks, I'm trying to keep the update pace frequent but things are starting to get a little chaotic and I may lag a bit now and again.

_shrouded-obsession: _Thanks again, on both counts. I'm going to need that luck. Then again, I'm sure it'll all work out.


	8. Chapter 6

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII (with some Kingdom Hearts references)

Pairing: SeiferZell

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow"

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 6: So Many Ways**

"I want to know," Zell muttered as he buried himself a little deeper in the Eskimo-style coat he'd taken to wearing while in Esthar, "why I always end up in places that are so damn _cold_." Esthar was South of Balamb but surrounded by desert--that made it warm in the day time, but as soon as the sun went down Zell relegated his shorts to the back of the closet in favor of blue jeans and a warm coat. He just didn't like the cold one bit. He bounced from foot to foot to get warm, not sure how he, the senior officer on this supposed mission, ended up getting delegated to going out for supplies at eight o'clock at night. He got the distinct feeling he'd been bullied into it without realizing he'd been bullied at all--damn brats. 'At least it's not as cold as Trabia,' he thought morosely, but that thought inevitably brought him back to Seifer. He'd drawn a mostly non-existent connection in his mind between Seifer Almasy and Trabia Garden, most likely because it was the first time in his life that he'd seen Seifer as something other than an irritating bully who he hated more than he hated time compression and broccoli. He secretly missed Seifer so much that he was starting to see him everywhere too. Like right now his eyes were seeing Seifer across the street in a tall blonde haired man with a silver trench co--wait a minute! That _was_ Seifer!

Seifer dropped his groceries. At first he just thought it was peculiar to see some idiot running around Esthar in an Eskimo-style coat and then he saw the blonde hairs poking out the front, and the baby blue eyes, and the way he hopped from one foot to the other as if he was dancing. 'Zell? No, no my mind must be playing tricks on me.' He shook his head, turned and bent to retrieve said groceries, but before he finished a familiar weight tackled him from behind.

Zell had managed to overcome most of his youthful energy and more annoying habits in recent years, so this, probably could be brushed off as a minor relapse. Before his brain caught up with the rest of him he'd run across the street and tackled the poor man who he really _really_ hoped was Seifer and not just some trick of the imagination…because if it wasn't Seifer he'd have some serious explaining to do.

Seifer was forced to turn in the middle of a hug that was just a bit too tight, but managed it well enough only to find the hood of Zell's coat had fallen back and the SeeD was holding tightly to his midsection. Seifer's heart thudded in his chest. Even if Zell had admitted feelings for him the last time they'd seen one another, that didn't prepare him for this. Up to now Seifer had been the one doing all the pursuing. Even so, he couldn't deny that he was happy that Zell hadn't decided he really did hate him after all and combed his coat-messed hair back to it's usual feathery state with his fingertips. "…It's been a while," he said for lack of adequate ways to deal with this kind of situation. "What are you doing here?"

"Mission," Zell muttered into his shoulder. "For Laguna. Have tonight off though. Went to buy supplies."

Seifer demanded his pulse slow down, but couldn't seem to manage it. "So…if you don't go back for a few hours, no one will miss you then." It was taking every bit of resolve he had to not kiss Zell right here in the middle of the street, to keep his hands from beginning to wander over inappropriate places.

Zell's answer was to lean up and press his lips to Seifer's. Seifer didn't need further permission, returning the kiss eagerly, glad for the reunion even though it wouldn't last. He slipped his tongue past Zell's lips, loving the way Zell didn't resist him at all and actually seemed eager for the contact. "Let's go back to my apartment," he whispered, his voice already getting a little husky.

Zell only had to think about it for a moment before he decided he'd come up with some excuse about what took him so long--later. He wouldn't have much time with Seifer. Away from Garden maybe, just maybe, they could be themselves. He intended to enjoy it while he could.

---

"Nngh Ah!" Zell collapsed on top of Seifer panting for breath. Seifer shuddered and arched, a look of bliss crossing his face before he collapsed against the mattress, planting kisses over Zell's sweat dappled brow and mouth as he lazily pulled the blanket up over their bared bodies. No matter how Zell thought about it, this was all kinds of weird, but maybe weird was just a little under-rated. He caught his breath and slid off of Seifer's chest, curling into his side. They spent a long time together like this, quietly thinking about how right it felt to be together and how it sucked in so many ways that it couldn't last.

Seifer, for once, was hesitant, but finally asked, "Is it really that important to you? SeeD, I mean."

Zell's shoulders tensed a bit. He'd suspected the conversation would come up eventually but being aware of it made him no more prepared to deal with it. "…I'm not good with anything else," he answered. Fighting was his only talent. SeeD needed people like that and he had nothing else he particularly wanted to do anyway. He'd never questioned it. He just figured Garden was the kind of place someone like him belonged. In Garden at least he could feel like he was someone important, maybe even someone special.

"You're good with me," Seifer complained a bit. "I need you more than they do." His eyes widened a bit. Crap, had he actually just said that out loud? The way Zell blinked up at him told him he had. Double crap.

"Seifer…"

"Don't 'Seifer' me," Seifer griped. He didn't like that tone, like Zell thought he was acting like a spoiled little kid, and he figured if he was going to dig his grave, it might as well be deep. He flipped their position so that he was hovering over Zell, his look more than a little intimidating--he always looked a little evil when he let his emotions get the best of him. "It's true. I'm the one who misses you when you're not there. I'm the one who can't get you off my mind. Squall just sends you on all these pain in the ass missions because you're his 'friend' and he supposedly trusts you, but when you're not around does he even think about you at all? Does he worry about you or wonder if you're okay? Because _I do_. All the time, and I hate that you care more about beating up Marlboros than you care about me."

Zell blinked a few times as if he was entirely perplexed. "…you're jealous of _Squall_? You've got to be kidding me. Squall only has eyes for Irvine."

"Irvine is…"

"…just fine," Zell finished, lifting a hand to cup Seifer's cheek. "Well, maybe not completely fine, but he's awake and talking and even walking around a little--though he still needs a crutch while his legs are getting their strength back from laying around so long. He's not dead, Seifer. He pulled through."

Seifer's irritation deflated as if he'd just been released of a burden he was sure was his for life and he just didn't know what to do now that the weight wasn't there anymore. It made him feel awkward and clumsy and stupid, oh, let's not forget stupid. Right now his feeling of stupidity rivaled how dumb he'd felt for being brainwashed by Ultimecia…which is really pretty impressive. He'd just blurted out all his complaints to Zell and had them thwarted with three words: 'he's not dead'. He didn't know why the two things were related, they just were.

He closed his eyes a moment to collect his thoughts. Zell had completely diverted his attention from their relationship to Irvine being alive and he didn't know what to do about that. He didn't want to talk about Irvine. He was glad he wasn't a murderer, sure, but at the same time he didn't give a damn what was happening in Balamb Garden. He wanted to tell Zell 'stay with me, damn it!' But Zell changing the subject gave him the answer already. It was 'no', and for the life of him Seifer didn't understand why. He was a closet romantic. He believed in knights in shining armor, in protecting the things you love, that love stories should always end happily ever after. He'd never admit to any of these things but the fact that Zell could say 'I love you but I'm not going to be with you always' turned his entire world upside down. He didn't understand.

Zell couldn't help it. The confused frustration etched on Seifer's face made him laugh. "You're hopeless," he said. "Not everything is about you and me, you know."

Seifer scowled at him, though Zell thought he was just being pouty--he knew better than to say so though as Seifer declared, "well they ought to be. Don't you care what I'm doing when you're not around? Or who I'm doing it with?" Seifer demanded. Okay, so he hadn't been with anyone in months. No one held a candle to Zell, but that didn't mean he couldn't imply otherwise.

If Seifer had been hoping for an aggravated 'see if I ever sleep with you again' look, he got what he'd been hoping for. "I'm not Squall," Zell retorted irritably. "If you're going to sleep with other people, then you're not going to sleep with me." Bastard. Zell pushed out from under Seifer and moved to get off the bed and presumably get dressed.

Seifer pulled him back, arms around his waist as they now rested loosely back to chest. "I'm not sleeping with anyone else," he assured, kissing the back of Zell's neck. "…but I do masturbate a lot when I think of you."

"Seifer!" Zell blushed brightly. "Don't you have any shame?! Geez…I don't need to know that!"

Seifer smirked a bit, glad he managed to get the upper hand again even if it was a small victory in the scheme of things. "Stay with me and I won't have to."

"I can't," Zell sighed.

Now Seifer was irritated again, "why the hell not?!" he demanded. "Who cares about Garden?! You don't have to work. I'll take care of you."

"I don't want you to!" Zell snapped back. "I'm not some little woman who wants to be your wife, Seifer Almasy! The fact that I can support myself is important to me!"

"You're being stupid!" Seifer snapped back.

"You're missing the entire point!" Zell replied.

"Who cares about the point?!" Seifer demanded, pinning Zell beneath him again, this time with a token struggle on Zell's part. "I love you, damn it! I want you to be with me! Why is that so hard? Huh?"

"It's almost impossible," Zell answered. "I don't know why. I guess I'm not the type to give up everything for love. Neither are you and you know it."

"I hate it," Seifer answered. "It gets in the way."

Zell sighed. Seifer wasn't wrong. There were so many complications and it was hard to find a compromise. "There will always be missions in Esthar," Zell said. "I'll volunteer for every one of them if I can rely on you to be here."

"I suck at waiting," Seifer replied.

"So…that's a no then?" Zell had expected as much but had been hoping otherwise.

"…it's a yes," Seifer said slowly. "But so help me, if you don't make time for me when you're here I'll be pissed."

"Never imagined you were such a big baby," Zell quipped a little playfully. It would be a long distance relationship, but they could make it work, right? He certainly hoped so because it was all they had to work with.

"If I'm a baby what does that make you?" Seifer returned, also feeling a bit relieved they'd managed a tentative compromise even though he wasn't sure it would work. Even so, it was better than nothing. He'd heard rumors about a possible Esthar Garden. If it was true, maybe he could convince Zell to transfer when that happened. He rocked his hips against the smaller blonde's, apparently not finished with him for the night after so much time apart. "Some kinda pedophile, maybe."

"Don't even joke like that," Zell protested, trying to wriggle away from Seifer's attentions before they got out of hand. "Don't," he said. "I need to go soon."

"No you don't," Seifer answered. "As long as you're back before anyone wakes up it's fine."

"Seifer…"

"Just stay the night," Seifer answered. "One night won't kill you."

Zell relented, thinking 'it might.' Even so, when Seifer was this open it was surprisingly hard to deny him anything. He knew tomorrow Seifer would be back to his usual prideful self--he ought to just enjoy it while it lasted--the warm hands, the soft lips, the strong arms, and certain other engorged body parts that are not polite to speak of in public. He was well aware he wasn't likely to get any sleep at all tonight but figured that might be just as well. There was no telling when they'd get another chance like this one. They were both so stubborn and set in their ways. He prayed that love was enough to keep them together. There were so many things in the way all he could do was arch against his lover, hang on for dear life, and pray he somehow got out of it all in one piece.

----

_To Reviewers:_

_The Optimist: _I could tell you, but it would spoil all my fun. Actually, anyone who's read "First Snow" already knows the answer to that question, but you'll just have to keep reading to find out.

_shrouded-obsession: _Yep. The stories actually happen in the same time frame. They exist sort of side by side, but I call it a 'sequel' because I think this one makes more sense if that one is read first. (especially since I really kind of gloss over what happened to Irvine in this one as it's not important to Seifer and Zell). There will also be a third story that happens exclusively in KH time, but for now the details on that are my little secret.


	9. Chapter 7

**Update Notes: **February 10th(tomorrow) Cablevision is coming to collect my cable box and modem, so I will be without internet and in the midst of packing for the remainder of the weekend. Next week will be chaos involving closings/signing stuff/moving in/etc. But by next weekend, the 17th, Comcast will be coming to my new place to hook up my cable and internet. So this might be the last chapter for about a week. If I can snag enough time to write one at my mom's house in the interim I will, but I wouldn't lay any money on it. Will be back in action soon.

Guna

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII (and some Kingdom Hearts)

Pairing: SeiferZell with mentions of others

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow"

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 7: Room Enough for Two**

"You're distracted."

After calling Zell away from a class full of trainees at 8 o'clock in the morning and proceeding to stare at him for almost ten minutes while he tried to figure out what to say, that was all Squall Leonheart had to say to his best friend. '_You're distracted._'

"And your timing sucks," Zell retorted. "Why couldn't this wait until after class? You realize you've got a bunch of unsupervised fourteen year olds in the Quad right now."

"I sent Selphie down there after I called you," Squall said.

"Because that's _so much better_," Zell muttered. He liked Squall, really he did. He just questioned the man's judgment at times. Just because you could trust Selphie with your life, didn't mean you could trust her in the shaping of young minds. Squall failed to see the difference and promptly changed the subject.

"I got your request to go on the Esthar mission."

Zell's shoulders tensed. If he was approved for the mission Squall wouldn't have personally called him to his office. Which meant…gulp.

"I'm going to have to reject it, Zell."

"What?! Why?!" Zell demanded, getting a little to animated about the subject. He hadn't been to Esthar in months, which meant he hadn't seen Seifer in months, which meant he would use every and any excuse to go, even if it meant weeding someone's garden, or something.

Squall leaned back and touched his scar the way he always did when something was trying his patience. "There's no reason for someone of your rank to go on this mission," he said, "and besides that you're dis--"

"Distracted, yeah yeah, I know! You said that already," Zell ranted getting up and beginning to pace.

"You'll make a mistake."

"I will not and you know it Squall Leonheart. What the hell is this really about?"

"Your performance record is going down," Squall stated frankly. "I wasn't checking on you, but I noticed it in the monthly reports. Simple missions are taking days or weeks, and others are taking less time than you'd expect. Your performance on Esthar missions is just bad Zell."

Zell stopped his pacing and stared. For someone he'd thought was too wrapped up in Irvine to pay much attention to anything else, Squall was damn observant. Zell _did_ try to drag out missions in Esthar as long as he could. It meant he had more time to sneak away, but the missions were always successful, always complete.

"I called Laguna." Something Squall was always hesitant to do. He just didn't know how to deal with the company president.

"You _what_??"

"He says he thinks there's a girl out there that you've taken to."

Squall didn't know how to deal with this. On the one hand he thought he could understand a little of what it meant to be separated from your lover, on the other it was taking Zell's attention away from his job.

"There's no girl!" Zell demanded, annoyed that everyone was apparently talking about him behind his back.

Squall locked him with a dead serious gaze and stated, "a guy then. Whatever. You know that's not really the point."

Zell deflated and flopped into his chair again. There was no point arguing with Squall when he happened to be right. "Well, what am I supposed to do, huh? Missions in Esthar are the only time I get to see him and you know they don't come that often." He couldn't tell Squall that it was Seifer and he supposed Squall probably didn't care who it was anyway.

Squall sighed. "Get your act together," he said frankly. "It's fine for you to visit your boyfriend in the off hours, Zell, but if your performance doesn't go up on this job I'm going to have to take you off Esthar missions for good. People are starting to talk."

Zell blinked a few times. "Talk?"

"They're saying the only reason you've held rank this long is because we're friends. Just do the job right, okay? I'll work out a few days leave afterwards if you need it. This is getting out of hand."

Squall didn't often say much so when he did it was a sign that he was under more stress than he wanted you to know about and at least half of it was somehow your fault. Even so Zell's eyes lit up. "So…I can go?" Before Squall could answer he hugged the poor man. "You're the best Squall! Yahoo!" He jumped, punching the air victoriously.

"Don't take it so calmly!" Squall insisted. "This is your last chance, you know."

"I won't disappoint you. Promise!" Zell grinned and for a moment Squall was reminded of just how bouncy Zell could be when he was in a good mood--something he hadn't seen in the blonde in…he wasn't even sure how long. Zell was just the type to wear his heart on his sleeve most of the time, so he supposed it couldn't be helped, but this was pretty serious.

"Zell, if it was between your boyfriend and your job, which one would you choose?" he asked.

Zell blinked and deflated a bit, "huh?"

"It's not like me and Irvine. Esthar is a long way from here. It must be difficult. I was just asking because it's a choice you might have to make."

The words sapped Zell's good mood right out of his body. He knew Squall was right. He hated that about Squall sometimes: when it came to himself he was always figuring things wrong, but when it came to everyone else he somehow always managed to peg them. Was he supposed to commit to SeeD or to Seifer? He didn't know and now both of them were telling him to choose. He didn't want to lose either one, but he couldn't keep dragging this out either. He gave Squall a stiff nod before leaving the office. Loving, being alive--it meant there were choices to make, commitments, and there were ties to forge and sever along the way…and there were decisions to make that would change everything.

---

Zell couldn't keep his leg from bouncing. No matter how fast Estharian transportation was, he was so full of nervous energy that he couldn't help but feel they were far too slow. He'd worked hard on this mission, like a man possessed. He _was_ possessed in a manner of speaking—possessed with the need to see Seifer. He'd been in Esthar for six days and had only time enough to leave Seifer a brief message that he would 'come by at the first opportunity'. It had been hell waiting this long and he still didn't know what to do. Seifer might not press the subject overmuch—he'd given up on doing so though the feel of his hands and look in his eyes when they made love told Zell he hadn't given up on the subject entirely. Someday he intended to get Zell to stay with him for good…

…but Zell also knew Squall would demand an answer when and if he returned and he had to have one by then. He darted off the transport and ran to Seifer's small apartment. It wasn't much, just enough room for one—two if you didn't mind things 'cozy', but it hadn't seemed to bother them to date.

Seifer opened the door looking a little irritated. It was late and he was in an undershirt and a pair of flannel pants. The gel in his hair had been washed out and dusky gold hair tumbled a little haphazardly about his brow. He pushed it back as if that would make it stay, already knowing it was likely to fall right back into his face within the next five minutes. Only Zell was allowed to see him this way. "You took your time," he complained, stepping aside to let Zell in and lock the door behind him.

"I was working," Zell answered. "I got here as quickly as I could."

Seifer didn't look pleased about being made to wait, but accepted the answer and pulled Zell over to the bed to cuddle. Normally when they saw one another it was sex first, talk later, but Seifer somehow instinctively knew that Zell was stressing out about something and it was fine to reverse the order for once. "How long will you be in town?" he asked.

Zell sighed contently and curled into Seifer's side. "Not long," he answered. "I don't know. Two or three days if…" he trailed off. No, he had to decide before he finished this conversation.

Too late though, Seifer had caught onto that 'if' and he wanted to know what it was about. His grip tightened slightly. "If?" he asked.

Zell bit his bottom lip. Crap. "If…" his voice lowered to barely a whisper and he mumbled "…ifIgobackatall."

"Zell, separate your words when you speak." This was important and Zell was apparently set on him not understanding a word of it.

"I thought…" Zell bit his lip. "I was considering…maybe…" his cheeks flared. "…staying. You know, here with you. Maybe." God, this was awkward.

Seifer stilled. Had he actually heard that right? There were a lot of qualifiers in that sentence, but even so no matter how you added it up it came down to _Zell _and _staying_. He smiled brightly at the martial artist and rolled over so that Zell was underneath him. "I'm going to have to hold you here until you get rid of that _maybe_." He'd been waiting to hear those words from Zell for months and he was determined not to let the lack of certainty ruin his suddenly rather good mood. He was sure if Zell had said even that much then it might as well be a sure thing. He refused to believe otherwise and in that refusing crushed their lips together.

Zell was trying to put serious thought into this—to explain. For once he thought it was important, but it was hard to think of anything when he could feel Seifer's weight over him, Seifer's deceptively soft lips against his own. What was he supposed to do if he left SeeD? What kind of job could he do? Construction didn't seem too exciting but he could feel how much Seifer wanted him to stay in the way he touched him, how elated he was to even hear 'maybe.' They were both so full of pride. Seifer hated to beg and Zell loved the idea of being able to support himself. Before now, he also felt that Squall somehow needed him around, but Squall was fine without him now. Irvine was enough, and there was also Selphie, Quistis…even Rinoa made a point to visit as often as she could. Squall didn't really absolutely need him anymore. But Seifer…Seifer needed him and that felt good. Of all the people in the world who Seifer might come to depend on, he was the one. It made him feel special. It was hard to remember why he'd hated the larger blonde for so long. Months worth of stress seemed to melt away instantly when Seifer held and kissed him. And then, of course, there was the sex.

Zell shuddered slightly as Seifer sat back on his knees and removed his shirt. Hyne, he was so gorgeous. "I'll stay," he whispered.

Seifer blinked down at him, finding the timing a little strange, but Zell never was one to be entirely predictable. Half the time Seifer still had no idea what he was thinking. He leaned down over his lover and kissed him softly on the corner of the mouth. "Say it again," he teased, knowing somehow that Zell found this all incredibly embarrassing.

"I—I'll stay with you," Zell said meekly with a protesting little pout. "Even if I hate the cold nights in Esthar. I'll put in my resignation."

"It doesn't have to be Esthar, you know," Seifer murmured. "We can move somewhere closer to the sea. Not Balamb but…I don't know, maybe the shoreline somewhere along Centra, or Deling City, or we can find a small town like Winhill where no one knows who we are. It doesn't matter. Somewhere far away from SeeD. All we need is room enough for two." He kissed the side of Zell's neck. "I can become a fisherman," he teased, "and maybe you can follow Laguna's example and be the local monster exterminator," he joked. "I know how you hate to sit still for long."

Zell arched with a soft gasp. The conversation might be awfully silly, but that didn't mean Seifer's hands were idle, nor his hips, as he cupped the martial artist's rear end and rocked against him. Zell's arms instinctively came up to circle Seifer's shoulders. "All teasing aside," he replied. "That actually doesn't sound too bad. We…ahn!...we don't need much."

"Mhmmn," Seifer murmured against Zell's collarbone. "Now, no more talking unless you're moaning my name." Seifer lifted Zell's shirt and let his tongue circle a nipple before closing his lips around it.

"Aaah! _Seifer_!"

'No,' Seifer thought. 'We don't need much, so long as this feeling of love and attraction never ends.'

----

_To Reviewers:_

_Agent Oz: _You're review this time really had me laughing. Thanks again and yes, there are plenty of hints as to where the two stories tie together but they're not so glaring, I think, that one can't be mostly enjoyed without the other—they're just better as a pair. As for focusing on your work…it's all good. They're short chapters. Haha.


	10. Chapter 8

A/N: Well, I managed to squeeze in another chapter after all. There will only be probably…2 or 3 more chapters in this story and they will come in about a week's time with any amount of luck.

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII (and some Kingdom Hearts)

Pairing: SeiferZell with mentions of others

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow"

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 8: Tell Me You Love Me**

"Hope you're in the mood for trout," Seifer said, kicking off his boots. It had been a joke at the time—find a small town, become a fisherman, but it turned out it was a rather quiet, peaceful life. He left early in the morning, came home in the late afternoon just a bit before sunset. Zell was usually sitting at the kitchen table organizing whatever odds and ends he'd collected over the course of the day: money, potions, magic he'd drawn, fruit and vegetables the old lady down the road sometimes gave him when she harvested more than she needed.

Today was no different. Zell looked up and wrinkled his nose at Seifer, getting up from the table to take the bucket of fish. "Not until after you shower," he grinned. "I'll start cleaning the fish," he said, resting a hand on Seifer's chest and giving him a kiss on the cheek before pushing him towards the restroom.

"Join me?" Seifer asked with a smirk.

"Pervert. Go shower," Zell replied.

"Tell me you love me first," Seifer quipped. He couldn't help it, he was so happy with this new life he could hardly stand it. He could feel himself becoming sappier by the minute but he was just so love struck that at the moment he just didn't care.

"I love you," Zell answered. "When you're _clean_."

Just as their lips came into contact the phone rang. Seifer cursed under his breath at the interruption. "Go bathe," Zell laughed, giving him another light push. "I'll answer it."

Seifer frowned a little, but finally retreated to the shower. When he came out Zell was pacing the kitchen with a stupid grin, overflowing with energy that was the usual sign of his being in a very good mood. "Who was it?" Seifer asked ruffling a towel through his hair to dry it.

"Laguna," Zell grinned. "We have a wedding to go to."

Seifer blinked. "Laguna is getting married?"

Zell grinned and shook his head negatively back and forth. "Nooo…but his only son is." That grin could stop traffic. "Squall and Irvine are getting married. Laguna called to invite us to the wedding. Or, me and my significant other, who just so happens to be you."

Seifer frowned a bit. "I can't go."

"Whaat? Come on! You can't be serious. Squall Leonheart is getting _married_. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity to see him acting all cute and lovey dovey in public you know."

"They won't want to see me," Seifer sulked. In case you forgot, I almost killed Irvine."

Zell waved it off. "You've _almost_ done a lot of things that there are no hard feelings for any longer. You _have to_ come."

"You're insane," Seifer said. "No way."

"If you don't come, you're sleeping on the couch for a month," Zell complained. "I want to show you off, you know. I'm the only one who's boyfriend is still a big secret. You haven't even let me tell Ma."

"So naturally now you want to tell everyone at once."

"The couch," Zell said. "A month. And in case you're feeling slow, that means no sex."

Seifer frowned.

"No sex. No cuddling and no kissing either," Zell insisted huffily crossing his arms over his chest.

Fate worse than death anyone? Seifer sulked a little as he sat down at the kitchen table. "Fine, I'll go, but don't blame me if it ruins the whole wedding."

Zell grinned again and glomped onto Seifer. "Everything will be fine, you'll see. I want to be there for my friends' wedding, Seifer. I want my lover to be there with me. You understand, right?"

"Yeah, you're a romantic and a hopeless optimist," Seifer retorted, sighing and leaning back into Zell's arms. "And it's going to get me killed someday."

Zell laughed lightly at that. "Don't worry," he joked. "I'll protect you."

"Don't even joke like that," Seifer complained.

"Why not?" Zell teased. "I'm the monster exterminator in the family. You're just a fisherman."

Seifer crinkled his nose at the quickly becoming familiar joke. "Yeah," he said, "but the bottom doesn't protect the top. My masculine pride won't stand for it."

Zell chuckled and straddled Seifer's lap. "Your masculine pride needs to get over it," he said, lowering his head to finish the kiss Laguna's phone call had interrupted.

"Mmn. And your masculine pride needs to cook my dinner," Seifer teased back. "Preferably in nothing but an apron, given the option."

"The last time me and my masculine pride tried that we had _blackened_ flounder for dinner," Zell chuckled.

"Just proves you need more practice," Seifer retorted. "No time like the present."

"You're incorrigible," Zell complained.

"I'll get the apron," Seifer said, nipping lightly at Zell's jaw. "You take off some of those extra layers."

Zell made a scoffing noise. "Next time _you're_ wearing the apron."

---

"Stop pacing," Zell complained, following Seifer around with his tie.

"I can't do this," Seifer said, stressing a little—another thing only Zell had the privilege of seeing. Squall and Irvine's wedding? No way. Impossible. What was he thinking, agreeing to this? Weddings were supposed to be happy affairs. If Squall saw him he was dead. On the one hand he wanted to apologize, really—not that he could—or at least show his support. He was glad Irvine wasn't dead, and glad they were happy together. If not for them, he would never have gotten together with Zell, after all. For that much at least he owed them one. But he'd almost killed Irvine, he'd never been particularly good to Squall—something he understood now that he had someone precious to him. He wasn't wanted here. What was he thinking? He couldn't attend their wedding. He'd ruin everything!

"Of course you can. The bride is supposed to get cold feet, Seifer, not the guests."

"They hate me."

"They do not. Probably," Zell answered. "You're already here, anyway."

"I'll ruin the wedding," Seifer protested.

Zell finally managed to stop him from pacing and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Nothing can ruin the wedding of two people who love each other that much," he assured. "But if it makes you feel better, I'll buy you a hat and you can go in disguise," he teased.

The fact that Seifer actually paused to think about it made Zell laugh. "I'll make sure it's black," he teased, "to match your tux."

"I hate you," Seifer complained.

"You love me," Zell replied.

Seifer sighed. "…that too. You'd better be right about those two not holding grudges or you might be bringing me home in lots of little Seifer pieces."

Zell smiled and leaned up to give Seifer a kiss. "You worry too much. Now, I'm off to see the bride. I'll meet you back here before the ceremony."

"For the record, I still think this is a bad idea."

Zell grinned up at Seifer as he fixed the larger man's tie. "I've had worse," he answered before jogging off to surprise Squall, chuckling to himself as he imagined the dumbstruck look on Commander Leonheart's soon-to-be-betrothed face. 'This is gonna be so great.'

Ah, but first, there was the small manner of a black hat. Zell chuckled to himself. 'I'll get the most ridiculous one I can find in five minutes or less. Then Seifer will refuse to wear it and stop being such a chicken. Either that, or I'll have some amazingly hilarious blackmail material.' Zell felt confident that that alone would make this one of the top ten best days of his life, but then, life is full of its little surprises.

---

_To Reviewers:_

_shrouded-obsession:_ Yeah, that _does_ kind of suck, but I'm hoping to make up for it a little with the third story. And I agree, they ended up being so adorable together--though I'm not sure how in character I'm managing to keep them. Heh. And yes, the moving is almost over, thank god.

So...more to come as soon as I can get to it.


	11. Chapter 9

A/N: Since we're approaching the end of this story, the pace changes a little here and there's a bit of time hopping much akin to 'First Snow'. I think it should be rather easy to follow the jumps.

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII & Kingdom Hearts

Pairing: SeiferZell with mention of others

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow"

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter Nine: One More Kiss**

Seifer made a scoffing noise as he tore the Struggle poster off the wall. "Just a bunch of kids play-fighting," he muttered under his breath. "They don't know a damn thing." This time of year was always hard, not that he'd ever admit to it, not even to Rai and Fuu, who were amazingly near carbon copies of the friends he'd lost so many years ago now. He appreciated those two, really, more than anyone would ever know, but they also made him feel uncomfortable and anxious at times. To think that two people so nearly identical to his old friends could exist made him wonder if someone nearly identical to him existed, and someone nearly identical to Zell too... that last one made him hate Fuu and Rai a little for existing at all and making him think about this kind of thing at all. He hated hoping almost as much as he hated heartless, so as much as he disliked being alone he was relieved that he had the Sandlot to himself for the moment. It gave him time to clear his head and maybe sulk about the past...just a little. What could he have done differently? How had everything gone so wrong?

Seifer leaned against the wall and raked his fingers through his hair. He remembered that spiky-haired blonde who claimed to be Squall's boyfriend and wondered if it was true. It was an idle thought and the least of his concerns. But if Squall could get past his lover dying on his wedding day, then why was Seifer still dwelling on the past, surrounded by painful reminders everywhere he turned—Struggle battles, Rai and Fuu, those short pants that Hayner wore that weren't really pants, but weren't shorts either—Zell would have loved those pants, those damn heartless... Every time he turned around it was something else. If even Squall Leonheart could move on with his life, then why the hell couldn't Seifer Almasy? Pathetic, that's what he was. Absolutely pathetic...and far too proud to let anyone know. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and sighed. It was eight years ago now. Eight years today. Seifer grimaced. It was all still so clear. People always say that memory fades. He wanted to know how much longer he'd have to wait for that luxury.

----

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty...

Seifer counted each step. Four to the left, then four to the right. The dress shoes tapped against the marble flooring more loudly than he cared for. He hated being nervous, but even more than that he hated showing that he was nervous. And what he hated most of all was waiting. Hyne, how he hated waiting!

Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four... About face.

Where the hell was...?!

"Whoa there tiger," Zell laughed as he rounded the corner and his boyfriend nearly walked right into him.

"Zell!"

"Did I interrupt your secret liason?" Zell joked but didn't wait for an answer before adding, "Hyne, you look hot in a tux." He rested a hand on Seifer's chest and leaned up on his toes to plant a chaste kiss on Seifer's lips. Anything more and they might miss the wedding, of which he was an honorary part as Squall's Man of Honor. He wouldn't say that to Seifer because he'd be sure to get a joke about being a 'maid' and whether or not he was going to be wearing a dress.

The kiss calmed Seifer down a bit, but not enough as evidenced when he asked, feeling a little embarrassed, "did you get the hat?"

Zell grinned the way he always grinned when he found Seifer's more childish behavior absolutely hilarious and reached into his pocket. "I got your hat, you paranoid freak," he teased, handing it over.

"Yeah well, I'm _your_ paranoid freak," Seifer muttered, a little put out because he knew Zell might very well be right as he unrolled the thick cotton to reveal a black beanie. He frowned at the kanji glaring back at him. "...could you have found a stupider hat?"

Zell laughed. "Not in under ten minutes."

Seifer frowned at the hat for an extended moment before pulling it down well over his eyebrows so that most of the tell-tale facial scar was concealed. "I hate you," he stated.

"You love me," Zell quipped, amusement shining in those bright eyes of his.

"...that too," Seifer sighed. "Not that I can figure out why."

They shared another kiss before Zell smirked up at the larger man and said "you look like such a dork."

"Should I threaten _you _with no sex?" Seifer retorted.

"Nah," Zell replied, "you wouldn't be able to follow through on it. Now, I've got to go participate in my best friend's wedding, so find yourself a seat in the back somewhere and I'll see you after the ceremony."

"One more kiss," Seifer said, pulling Zell back against him.

"So needy," Zell mock-complained. "But alright, just one more." He leaned up and let Seifer claim his mouth like only a lover could. Neither had any way of knowing it would be the last kiss they ever shared.

---

Hayner tilted his head to one side, squatting down in front of the much larger male. It was unusual for Seifer to be caught off his guard, let alone be found sleeping against a wall in the Sandlot, so Hayner found himself exceedingly curious. Normally, he found Seifer kind of creepy, antisocial, and just plain mean. But there was something about his sleeping face that made Hayner wonder what the man was dreaming about. He poked him in the cheek on impulse.

Seifer startled out of his dream-memory with a slight start and blinked his green eyes at Hayner, frowning. "What?" he demanded.

"Was just checking to see if you were dead," Hayner postured. "Unfortunately, seems the answer's no."

Seifer grunted and pushed off the wall, getting to his feet. "Must not be my day," he muttered. "Get awakened from a nice dream and the first thing I see is your stupid face."

Hayner made an annoyed face, "Yeah I love you too asshole," he quipped, annoyed. "What the hell do you have against me anyway?"

Now, Hayner didn't like Seifer much. It was a knee jerk reaction. Seifer hated him so he sort of decided the feeling was mutual. The older male really got on his nerves anyway, but he still wanted to know what he ever did to deserve to be hated at first sight.

"You remind me of someone," Seifer muttered, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Stupidest guy I ever knew. It gets on my nerves. See ya around, loser."

Hayner blinked at Seifer's retreating back for an extended moment before throwing his arms up in the air. "Why do I even bother?" he complained. "He totally sucks."

---

Seifer locked the door behind him and leaned against the wall with a sigh, bringing his fingers up to his lips. It had only been a dream, and an old one at that, but he could practically still feel the lingering touch of Zell's lips on his own. He pulled off his hat and raked his fingers through his hair.

"Damn you, Zell Dincht. Even now I... When I said I wanted you with me forever, this isn't what I had in mind."

---

_To Reviewers:_

_ shrouded-obsession: _hah! yeah, poor boys. And yes, we are approaching the end. I hope I have time to write the rest of it soon.

Silver Wolf: hah! Good to know I'm not alone.

More information on the third and final story of this series at the end of this one. I haven't decided on the title quite yet, but I think it's safe to admit here that I am planning for it to be Seifer x Hayner.

I managed some time to write and upload another chapter sooner than I thought I would, we'll see when I can get around to the next chapter.


	12. Chapter 10

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII & Kingdom Hearts

Pairing: SeiferZell

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow", story 2 of 3, boy/boy love

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 10: Into the Darkness**

Seifer squinted at the darkening sky. He wasn't generally paranoid—he didn't believe all those silly stories about walking under ladders or black cats, but the way the clouds roiled and dark clouds smoke-bubbled across the sky made him think 'bad omen for a wedding day'. He pushed the thought aside. Even so he felt a ripple of foreboding dance its way up his spine. He shook his head and pulled the stupid black beanie down over his ears against the chill, shoved his hands into his pockets and went back inside. He wanted to be the first one in the cathedral. That way no one would notice his entry, he could carefully select the most shadowed corner and hopefully he _and_ his stupid hat could go unnoticed.

Zell spotted him without even trying, but Zell just knew him that well by now. The martial artist grinned at him a bit less subtly than Seifer would have liked, but no one else seemed to notice: they were all paying too much attention to the dashing husband-to-be taking his place and the father of the bride, and then within moments, the bride himself.

Squall glowed. He was trying not to smile but Seifer was sure he'd never seen his old rival/lover so happy. He didn't know Squall had 'happy' in him, but here he was, cheeks flushed slightly and a tiny smile curling his lips, exchanging some manner of pleasantry with his father as they walked down the isle. Squall seemed a little put out by some joke at his expense, but for what it was worth, like life couldn't get any better. His eyes sparkled as Irvine graced him with one of those charming smiles of his and took the shorter brunette's hands. He wondered if Zell would ever be that happy to see him and smirked faintly to himself. Zell was always that happy to see him, but he supposed getting married took things to a level you couldn't really understand unless you were there. It all seemed pretty sappy to him, but if Zell wanted him to he supposed he probably wouldn't say no...someday. Yeah, life was looking pretty perfect for everyone right now, but Seifer couldn't shake that dark sky.

The problem with things being as good as they can get: the only way things have left to go is down.

Irvine couldn't hide the giddiness in his tone as he recited his vows. Seifer wondered if he'd be half as happy knowing his almost-murderer was in the room. He sincerely doubted it, wondering if he could meld any more completely into the darkened shadows at the corner's of the room. It was a small wedding in a way—despite the fact that the President's son was getting married and the Press was everywhere, there were no flower girls or any such thing. Selphie, Irvine's best (wo)man, handed the ring to Irvine.

"With this ring I thee...whooaa!" Irvine barely managed to keep himself upright as the room shook and Squall crashed into his chest. Squall's wedding band, which had just grazed his fingertip before it missed and fell to the ground seemed to go in slow-motion as if waiting for someone to catch it and salvage the situation. No one did. It tumbled to the ground in a free fall with a soft thump against the carpet, then rolled off the isle and under one of the pews before clinking twice. Seifer didn't know why his attention was so focused on that ring but when he lifted his eyes Zell was looking out the window with a very distinctly 'oh shit' expression. Squall was just recovering from falling against Irvine, his not-quite-husband, and Laguna had politely asked the priest to move aside and retrieved a machine gun from behind the altar.

Words seemed warbled, like everyone but him was under water. Another loud crack thundered outside and Seifer's gaze turned again to Zell, who was pulling on his Ehrgeiz. Another loud crack sounded and Zell frowned. Seifer was snapped out of his daze then and all the sounds and activities sped back to a normal pace. Squall and Irvine were running from the room presumably in search of their weapons. The guests were panicking—Quistis, Selphie, and Rinoa were trying to keep them calm. Zone was supposedly helping, but wasn't doing much good crouched down in the corner holding his stomach. Laguna had found his way to Zell's side as another loud step shook the room and Seifer suddenly realized someone, or something, outside was looking for a fight, and he had plenty of nervous energy to work off. There was also the desire to protect Zell, of course, which he couldn't manage to overcome even though he knew Zell didn't really need any protecting—but that was neither here nor there for the moment. Unlike certain Garden Commanders, who left their weapon and junctions in the other room for their wedding day, Seifer was naturally paranoid. Zell couldn't get him to put them further away than the other side of the night stand even to sleep.

Zell jumped out the window and Seifer jerked upright, leaping over a few pews and one very frightened little boy—Quistis and Nida's son, or at least he thought so. His parents were too busy trying to calm the mass hysteria to pay him too much mind at the moment—before leaping past Laguna and after Zell. Laguna, with one last worried glance at the people gathered over his shoulder, was quick to follow. The others could handle it—and if they couldn't, they'd just have to learn how fast.

Outside, the sky had darkened further. Seifer looked up to see the monster, whose ankle fell at about eye level, and found with the beanie covering his brow he couldn't get a good look and cussed, pulling it off in irritation and stuffing it into his pocket, running his fingers back through his hair as he looked up and letting out a low whistle.

"Too much for you?" Zell quipped, a joke to ease the nervous tension.

"Shouldn't I be asking that of you, chicken-wuss?" Seifer said because really it was kind of a private joke at this point, mostly for old time's sake. But more seriously he said, "It's been a while, but you don't need to worry about me. Let's kick it's ass for ruining your best friend's wedding. That's supposed to be my job."

"If you two are done chit-chatting," Laguna said, leaping back away from the creature with his gun cocked, "It would be really great if you could, you know, fight a little."

Zell grinned and Seifer smirked. "A little guy like this?" Seifer joked, falling into step between them, "Shouldn't be a problem for someone like you. Right, Mr. President?"

Laguna chuckled and admitted. "I'm a little rusty, and old. Let's not forget old."

Well, Laguna wasn't _that_ old, but he was certainly more than twice Seifer's age, so the joke prompted another slight smirk.

Zell bounced about, Seifer slashed with as much precision and strength as he could manage, and Laguna wasn't quite as rusty as he thought, but even so, things weren't going so well. They were doing damage, but not enough and every time they thought they'd figured out the pattern to the monster's movements it switched things up. A tentacle shot out of seemingly nowhere and Laguna went barreling towards the nearest solid wall. Zell rushed to help him, pulling him out of the rubble and using two curagas on the poor man who muttered something about lungs nearly collapsing and 'getting too old for this'. He gave Zell a grin though and said, "I'm okay, I'm okay," as he wobbled back to his feet. Ugh. "Watch out for that one," he said as he rejoined the fray. "Hurts like hell."

Just as he was saying it, another one shot towards Seifer. Zell, in one of those divine moments of stupid—as Seifer was wont to call them—dove in front of him and pushed Seifer out of the way. Seifer blinked from his new position on his ass. Zell's mouth opened in surprise. Both looked down to see a black tentacle squirming a little to try to free itself from his stomach. Time paused long enough to let the dramatic effect sink in, or so it seemed to Seifer Almasy—and then it sped right back up again as the tentacle ripped free, pulling out the better part of Zell's midsection with it. Zell made an awful gurgling sound and coughed up a mouthful of blood before collapsing to his knees and then face planting into Seifer's thigh.

"Zell? _ZELL!!!_" It sunk in a little too fast. Seifer cast a curaga, used a phoenix down, a high potion, and then tried again and again. Zell's body tingled a little, trying to restitch the flesh and now missing vital organs, but it couldn't do a thing. In spite of that, Seifer forgot the monster in an effort to throw every bit of curing magic and items he had at Zell in a panicked attempt to revive him. Laguna didn't tell him to stop. He knew nothing would get through to him somehow and someone had to hold the monster at bay while he tried. Laguna swallowed the bile in his throat and prayed by some miracle Zell would be okay. He doubted it. He'd been a soldier once. For a wound like that, there was nothing anyone could do.

"ZELL! DAMN YOU, GET UP!" Seifer demanded. Nothing.

Laguna was fighting alone. He knew it was bad and he knew if anything happened to him they were all pretty screwed—Seifer wouldn't have any healing items left to use on him and his own supply had been exhausted some minutes ago. Zell was...no, now wasn't the time to think about that. Well, there was still a chance Squall and Irvine would make it. He couldn't hold back out of fear for his own life when there were so many people counting on him. He didn't give the matter another thought. He'd just have to do as well as he could for as long as he could. Laguna could be a naïve ditz at times, even at his age, but he wasn't an idiot. He put two and two together. Seifer wasn't going to snap out of it of his own free will. Laguna grit his teeth. He'd dealt with worse in the past right? Right. ...just not alone.

He was sure that they must have at least put a dent into the creature by now but wasn't about to waste the time scanning it. Maybe it was the fact that he was a father or something to do with his role as President of Esthar, but when another tentacle shot out towards Seifer, who probably would have welcomed death as tears threatened to tumble out of his eyes and despair set in, Laguna jumped in the way. The tentacle didn't spear through him like Zell, but slammed hard into his chest and back. He groaned and tried to pull himself to his feet, just in time for a large clawed hand to grab him hard. Laguna cried out in agony as he felt his ribs crack and his vertebrae dislodge.

The sound of Laguna's scream snapped Seifer out of his own misery—hands covered in his lover's blood. He looked up and even from such a distance he could see the agony on the older man's face. Blood dripped through the cracks in the monster's fingers. Something in Seifer snapped. In a rage he grabbed at his gunblade and charged. He hadn't been able to save Zell but maybe...maybe Laguna...so many people relied on Laguna. It was _something_ at least. He slashed at tentacles, cut through towards the monster's thick wrist, but just as the blade was about to come down on it, there was a loud crack and Laguna's head fell sickly to one side. The creature released his limp form and it fell in what felt like slow motion. When it hit the ground with a sickening thud, Seifer's mind went blank with agony and rage. He slashed blindly at the monster and was swiftly knocked back into a pile of rubble nearby. Everything was a mess—all smoke and flame and a dark, dark sky. Seifer groaned and cursed, irritably shoving the beanie back into his jacket pocket from where it had fallen. He somehow needed to keep it though it was an instinct he didn't understand at the time. Debris from the battlefield flew about and something hit him in the chest with a sickening thud. He shoved it off of his chest, and his hand came away from that _something_ sticky with blood and when he realized what—_who_—it was, his stomach lurched into his throat. "Zell?" No answer. He should know not to expect one, but a desperate mind plays tricks. "Chicken-wuss?" That always got a reaction, always. "Damn you, wake the hell up! It'll be a pain in the ass to finish this thing off alone. Come on…you're not this weak, are you?"

Seifer's voice cracked. Zell still had a hole going straight through his stomach a good foot wide in diameter. He forced his last phoenix down past the martial artist's lips, but nothing happened.

He wasn't given the time to come to terms with it or even mourn as the clawed hand of the goliath heartless swiped at him again, flinging him across the square. He wheezed, trying to get air back into his lungs. The hand came again, too quickly, but the claw that nearly skewered him—part of the same hand that had so mercilessly slaughtered Laguna—was blown off with a loud bang. Seifer's gaze shot over his shoulder to find Irvine, tattered tux and all, with Exeter raised, the safety being pulled back already for another shot. He didn't stop for thanks, scrambling for his gunblade as Squall attacked the creature.

"After we finish this guy off, I'll ask what the fuck you think you're doing here," Irvine told the blonde. He couldn't stand Seifer and felt a competitive streak toward the taller male, especially given his former relations with his fiancé/soon-to-be-husband.

"Then for the moment," Seifer grit out. "You won't mind if I tell you to kindly shut up and shoot."

---

Curiosity killed the cat—that's what they say. Hayner decided it was a good thing he wasn't a cat because he was currently endangering his life with a certain morbid curiosity. These past few days Seifer had been acting really bizarre. For one he hadn't antagonized Hayner and his friends in almost a week. Even when Hayner walked right into a joke at his own expense Seifer didn't take it. He'd fallen asleep in the Sandlot a few days ago, and today Hayner had run into Fuu and Rai and the blonde was nowhere in sight. When he asked they just said, 'this is how he is at this time of year.' Hayner found himself wanting to know why. There was no reason. He figured it was just yet another one of the mysteries of Twilight Town that needed to be solved.

Seifer leaned over the rail at Sunset Hill. Hayner swallowed his pride and peered at him from behind a trash can. The older male removed his hat and raked his fingers through his hair, tracing the path of the kanji over the cloth. He clutched the hat tightly in his fist and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Damn you, Zell Dincht," he whispered. "It's all about you."

Hayner blinked twice. He felt a little guilty for invading the bastard's privacy now. Who was this Zell person to have such power over a cretin like Seifer Almasy? Hayner could guess, but pretended to be oblivious on the matter and started to creep off of the hill. He didn't get far. Just as he was getting to the edge of the plateau a stray dog plowed out of the bushes and knocked over a trash can.

Seifer's shoulder's tensed and he spun around just in time to see said dog licking Hayner's face. Hayner tried to push the dog away, but animals often have a mind of their own. The dog barked twice and then ran off down the hill. Seifer stared at the teenager with a deep scowl. "Spying on me, runt?" he said in his best intimidating tone even though he wasn't feeling terribly intimidating at the moment.

"And what if I am?" Hayner retorted on a defensive instinct. He knew he was in the wrong but he couldn't help himself.

Seifer grabbed him by the collar and lifted him from the ground, scowling. Hayner tensed, but something in Seifer's emerald eyes told him he wasn't going to do anything this time. He stared back stubbornly and Seifer dropped him. "Get lost, pipsqueak," he said. "This is my spot."

Hayner made a scoffing noise and said, "don't see your name on it," but shoved his hands into his pockets to leave. Something stopped him. He bit his lower lip a moment and then asked, "what happened to Zell?"

Seifer's gaze turned icy and before he could stop himself Seifer backhanded Hayner hard across the face. He always treated everyone in Twilight Town with kid gloves, always...until now. His temper got the better of him. He felt a little guilty—just a bit—as Hayner scowled up at him from the ground, clutching his cheek.

"You're such a bastard," Hayner griped getting back on his feet and wincing at the bright red mark on his cheek. "You could have just told me you didn't want to say, asshole."

Seifer's scowl deepened. "Even if I did," Seifer answered. "Someone like you would never understand."

"Try me."

It was a dare: Hayner knew it and he knew that Seifer knew it too. From what he knew about Seifer he was fairly sure that Seifer would take the bait anyway out of spite.

Seifer stared at him for a long moment before pulling his hat back on and saying, "No. Never. Not a kid like you," as he brushed by.

Hayner didn't know why he pushed the subject, but he got the strangest feeling that Seifer was about to crack. He grabbed the man's wrist and said his name once more. It was a harder grip than he should have used for something that they both knew was none of his damn business.

"I killed him," Seifer said. "I killed all of them. Now there's no one left to save." He tore his wrist from Hayner's grip. For a moment, Hayner considered stopping him again. There was so much more to it than that, somehow he could sense it. But really, it was none of his damn business. The sun had set leaving a deep evening chill that was only half the reason Hayner shivered, watching Seifer's broad shoulders disappear into the darkness as if it was his only friend—the only thing in the world that he could trust not to betray his expectations.

---

_To Reviewers:_

_Agent Oz: _I could never get tired of your comments! They're so funny and endearing and I, like all writers, am a closet glory hog who loves compliments—of which you give me plenty. I agree, it's so sad, Poor Seifer. Poor Zell. Poor everyone! But that's why I decided to write a third story: to make up for it. I hope I can pull it off.

More to come...


	13. Chapter 11

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII & Kingdom Hearts II

Pairing: SeiferZell and some others

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow", story 2 of 3

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

_A/N: _My god…I have too much shit…and on top of it this chapter was for some reason really hard to write. I hope it doesn't suck…and if it does, I'm soo sorry! Also sorry for taking so much longer than normal—unpacking is a bitch, what can I say. I'll try to get the next chapter done soon. Next chapter might be the last chapter, actually. I'm not sure. I'll leave you with notes on the third story in the last chapter of this one like last time.

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter 11: What You Owe**

"Why are we here again?" Leon asked. He really didn't feel at all certain about seeing Seifer again but Cloud had insisted that they visit Twilight Town before the wedding. He had some half-baked idea about inviting Leon's ex-boyfriend, though he insisted he didn't really want the man to attend. Leon decided it was best not to ask. Whenever the subject of Seifer Almasy came up Cloud got this look in his eye and a set to his jaw that said he had something to prove. They were due to be married in a month's time—Leon was determined not to do anything that might jeopardize that.

"Closure," Cloud insisted. "I don't want any more relationship-altering drama from you."

Leon frowned and bit his tongue. Cloud had not been completely innocent in those events, but Leon knew better than to start trouble. Besides, they were already here, much against his better judgment. He raked his fingers through his hair. "I think I've had enough closure for one lifetime," he complained.

Cloud smirked a bit and leaned up to press a soft kiss on the corner of Leon's mouth. "A little bit more won't kill you."

Leon wrapped his arms lightly about Cloud's waist and returned the gesture with a more firm kiss to the mouth. "Promise?" he asked.

Cloud leaned against his chest in that adoring pre-marital way that just makes you think 'oh, get a room'. "It's just your ex-boyfriend."

"There's no 'just' when Seifer is involved."

"Let's start looking," Cloud said. "The sooner we find him, the sooner I'll let you off the hook." Cloud laced their fingers together and gave Leon's hand a light tug. He wasn't often this publicly affectionate so Leon was sure something was up. He decided it was easier to go along with it in the long run—if he didn't he'd just be guilted into it later anyway.

---

Hayner bit his lip. He hadn't meant to spy but the moment he'd heard the brunette say '_there's no 'just' when Seifer is involved_' he found his feet glued in place as he listened in. Seifer said he'd killed Zell and that there was '_no one left to save_', but this brunette was apparently Seifer's ex-boyfriend. Was this Zell? Maybe—no, most likely—Seifer had only said such a thing to get him to drop the subject. He knew his curiosity was going to get him into deep shit someday, but until then he just couldn't seem to move from his spot. He wanted to know what kind of person could make Seifer Almasy act so strange—every year. He might think of Seifer as a complete and irredeemable bastard, but he also thought of him as a strong person—at the very least stronger than this, not weak enough to get all tied in knots over some guy.

In Hayner's mind such behavior in Seifer Almasy just didn't make any sense. He wanted to grab the older blonde and shake him while saying "this isn't you!" until he came to his senses. He figured a little spying was _probably_ less likely to get him killed. Of course, that all depended on whether or not he got caught.

---

Seifer rolled over onto his back and ran a hand over his face. He couldn't keep sulking like this—sleeping in, avoiding everyone. He knew it was pathetic and weak—the way he still moped about Zell after all these years. Even so, how do you let it go? How do you forget not only the love of your life, but the only person you ever loved? Fall in love again? Impossible. Never. He didn't understand why anyone would subject themselves to such a thing on purpose let alone actively seek it out. Even so, he couldn't stay in bed for the rest of his life. He grumbled and pushed to his feet, making his way to the shower when there was a knock on the door. He frowned at it and padded over to unfasten the locks—all three of them. It had to be Fuu and Rai, they were the only ones who gave half a shit about whether or not he got out of bed and made his presence known in the world or sat around all day rotting in his own stench. "Yeah, hang on, I'm coming." he grumbled, raking his fingers back through tangles of sandy blond hair.

The people on the other side of the door...not Fuu and Rai. In fact, Seifer forgot to breathe for a minute. It couldn't be. It was. Squall. The brunette was wearing a rather put-out expression and there was a spiky haired blonde that looked somehow familiar beside him. Their fingers were laced together. He struggled a moment for something traditionally Seifer to say before the words "long time no see" tumbled past his dry throat.

"Are you going to invite us in, or not?" Leon replied.

Seifer twisted his mouth wryly and gestured for them to enter saying, "this long hair thing works for you, Princess."

Leon grit his teeth. He'd forgotten just how much he loathed Seifer Almasy until they were standing face to face.

"...oh, I'm sorry," Seifer continued mostly because it was familiar and made him feel a little less edgy. "I guess it's probably Queen these days, isn't it?"

Cloud let go of Leon's hand, suddenly feeling defensive and unable to quite quench the desire to punch a nice dent or two into Seifer's stupid, fat head. Leon, sensing this, rested a hand lightly on Cloud's arm to prevent him from doing anything too rash. "Are you done now?" he asked Seifer to brush on past the necessary small talk—what he had come to call those times when Seifer threw every bitter insult he could think of at him and he pretended not to care.

Seifer flopped back onto his more than slightly tattered sofa and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why are you here?" he asked with a heavy sigh.

Leon grit his teeth. No matter how he tried to be the better man all he could see in Seifer was the guy who'd stupidly gotten Irvine killed, the guy who had never been and never would be good enough for Zell—the only person from his world left and the only one that he'd have been happier without ever having to see again…and before he knew it he was the one lunging at Seifer. The couch toppled back and they tumbled to the ground before he managed to get a good hit in, hand fisting Seifer's t-shirt.

Cloud was more than a little startled. Leon had always been the level-headed one. "Squall?!" he asked, not sure what the hell was going on.

"Fuck closure," Leon muttered, glaring down at Seifer. "And fuck you too, Seifer. Damn you…" his rage blew out as quickly as it had ignited and he found himself sitting on the floor beside the larger blonde.

Cloud gave pause, not sure if he should interfere or not. It was rare for Leon to let his emotions show and sometimes Cloud thought it was best to let him just explode a little to get it out of his system. On the other hand, he had this unquenchable desire to prove to Seifer that he was _not_ too short to be Squall's lover, or too blonde or too anything else. He didn't realize this was the typical behavior of a jealous boyfriend and would likely get offended if anyone ever told him so. He moved across the room and rested a hand on Leon's shoulder. Leon instinctively leaned his head against the blonde's thigh.

"How touching," Seifer muttered, getting up off the floor.

"Fuck you," Leon said again before turning to Cloud and stating, "I don't want closure." He knew he was being childish but the fact that Seifer was alive when everyone who mattered was gone…it was too much. He just wanted to get married to Cloud and never, ever think about Seifer or all of the awful events of the past again, was that too much to ask? Seifer had screwed everything up. It would be easier if he'd meant to, but it was just that Seifer somehow managed to turn everything he touched to shit. Knowing that, Leon couldn't even hate the man…and it would be so much easier if he could just hate him. Then he could be angry, and if he was angry he wouldn't feel this disheartened and confused. What had Zell ever seen in a guy like this?

---

"Well well, Commander Leonheart, I must say, that was _impressive_."

Seifer didn't hear the commentary really. He and Irvine didn't like each other and were far too busy bickering to notice that the big black beast they'd just defeated was bubbling over and someone had risen out of the black plasma like a tangible shadow. Irvine was getting a bit too in his face and in irritation Seifer shoved him away—onto someone's sword. His eyes widened and he blinked a few times. Wait. What?

A sharp pain raced through Irvine's stomach and he looked down, shocked to find a rather long sword piercing his sternum. Blood pooled outward in a macabre tie-dye from the wound and he looked up, hands coming up, but with the blade still through him held awkwardly near his ribs, having nowhere to go. He looked up at Seifer, then Squall, unable to put two and two together. How had he…? He opened his mouth to speak, but choked on the blood that had started to bubble out of his mouth. How? What??! This had to be a nightmare, a bad dream. Wedding jitters, that's it. Soon the alarm clock would go off and he'd wake up to find Selphie pestering him about sleeping in on his big day. He'd marry Squall and drag him off on a honeymoon--somewhere tropical. They would make love every day and he would teach Squall all about the wonders of fruity drinks with little umbrellas…

…it was about then that the pain registered. Why wasn't he waking up?

Seifer's jaw worked but no sound came out as the silver-haired male holding the sword seemed entirely nonplussed by the entire affair.

"Unfortunately," Sephiroth said fluidly, a wicked smirk twisting his features as he twisted the sword a full one hundred eighty degrees so the blade faced upward, causing the wound in Irvine to bloom a deeper scarlet at the center. Irvine's features twisted in agony, but he didn't have time to react beyond that as Sephiroth swiftly raised the blade, shearing the cowboy in two from the wound upward.

"…loss always breeds greater strength."

"_IRVINE!" _Squall screamed, taking a step forward as if to approach his lover's twisted figure as it sprayed blood and slowly fell to the ground, as if he could somehow put the man back together again.

Seifer winced and looked away, but at least had the presence of mind to pull Squall back from the badly mangled, yet still warm, corpse of his fiancé. There was nothing Squall could do for Irvine, nothing anyone could do, really. He swallowed the bile in his throat at the sight of a body so freshly mangled; even under the sway of Ultimecia he'd never seen anything so wretched. It made him half tempted to swear off fighting for good. He understood how Squall felt, really he did. Zell was dead too. He hadn't been able to save him. Not Zell, not Laguna, and he'd just gone and killed Irvine over some snide remark. He may not have twisted the blade, but he was still the one who pushed the cowboy onto it. It was his fault. He'd never be able to make it up to Squall.

"_LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!" _Squall demanded.

Seifer wasn't hearing it—whether it was that he was trapped in his own thoughts or that he was just being stubborn only Seifer really knew.

"I look anxiously forward to seeing just how strong you can become, Squall Leonheart. I imagine it may prove terribly interesting," Sephiroth cooed.

The silver haired man disappeared the way he came, slowly through the darkness. Something clenched in Seifer's stomach. After all he'd done, all he destroyed…for Zell, for Squall…for everyone…he owed them all so much and this guy thought he could just run away?

"LET ME GO!" Squall demanded again, struggling against Seifer's firm hold.

"There's nothing you can do for him now!" Seifer declared. "Just live." He shoved Squall away from the carnage and jumped in the swiftly closing darkness behind Sephiroth without a further thought. He couldn't let him get away. It was too much to bear. For everyone… 'I'll finish him off or die trying!' he promised himself. 'I owe them at least that much.'

But things did not go according to plan. Coils of darkness closed in around him. Heavy memories choked him. No matter how far he walked or how loud he hollered his feet and voice seemed to go nowhere. And then suddenly, right when he expected he'd be just like this until the end of time, just when despair was about to overtake him, he heard laughter, felt the warmth of the sun on his face…

---

Hayner squatted down and poked Seifer in the cheek. Asleep in the sandlot again—he didn't know how anyone could fall asleep in broad daylight, let alone someone who's supposed to be such a badass.

Seifer blinked awake with a soft grunt. What was going on again? Oh, right. Squall had gone all homicidal and then all cuddly teddy bear and Seifer decided he didn't want to watch Squall with his little blonde boyfriend when Zell was still very much dead and he was still very much alone, and he'd gone walking to clear his head. It didn't do any good and he got overtaken with thinking about the past again. He'd sunk down against the wall of the sandlot and…now Hayner was poking him in the cheek again. Must have fallen asleep.

"You've gotta cut this shit out," Hayner informed. "If I wasn't such a nice guy, I'd step on you or something."

They both knew it was all just macho posturing on Hayner's part but both let it slide for the moment. Seifer looked sidewise at Hayner as if trying to decide on something and said, "yeah well, don't keep a tab, I owe too many people to worry about paying back some punk kid on top of it all."

Hayner rolled his eyes. "It's not about what you owe, dumbass."

"Then what is it about?" Seifer retorted as he stood and brushed off the rear end of his jacket. "You got a crush or something, pipsqueak?"

"On you? Hah! You wish!" Hayner snapped before his brain got around the heart of the question. What was this all about, anyway? This weird obsession? "Just been bored lately, that's all."

---

_To Reviewers: _

_shrouded-obsession: _Yeah, I feel bad for him too, but after 'First Snow' we sort of knew it would come to this.

_Angel Reid. Tobias Dominik:_ Yeah, I understand. It's the nature of the beast though—since this is a companion fic to a story where Zell and everyone died. It's sad but…well, even sad stories could be good stories sometimes. I'll make it up to him in the final story of this arc. Sorry for depressing you!


	14. Chapter 12

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII & Kingdom Hearts II

Pairing: SeiferZell , some LeonCloud and mention of others

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow", story 2 of 3

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

**For What It's Worth**

**Chapter Twelve: Faded Rivalry**

Sunset Hill—it was the place Seifer went when he needed to clear his head in the middle of the night and beating heartless up with a foam bat just wasn't doing a damn thing for his stress level. The night was cool and he shivered a little, missing the days when his jacket had sleeves. Most days the weather in Twilight Town was fair, but tonight's breeze made him wonder if he should just suck it up and get a new trench coat. After all this time it wasn't too likely he'd change his ways though. In this town full of kids he figured he was probably what you'd call an 'old dog'—and there's a saying about old dogs and new tricks. He'd never learn. He was willing to accept that about himself; it was something to rely on in a world full of let-downs.

He pulled his black beanie down tighter over her ears, when a voice from behind him said "that had doesn't suit a guy like you."

Seifer tried not to startle overmuch, but his shoulders did tense a bit. Even after a hundred years he'd never forget Squall's voice. He was certain of that now. There had been so much not-quite-hating and almost-loving between them over the years that even their old rivalry had faded around the edges and made him think it might be worth it to start smoking so that his life would maybe feel a little less frayed.

"It was a gift," Seifer answered blandly. It was too late to start parsing words now. Words meant so little between them it didn't matter what they said. Anything would get the message across.

Leon hadn't been able to sleep. He lay in bed with Cloud long enough for the other to doze off until finally, frustrated by his insomnia, he decided to take a midnight walk around town. It was pure coincidence that he happened to run into Seifer on the way. The breeze ruffled through his long hair as Seifer turned to look over his shoulder and their eyes met. Leon couldn't shake the feeling that they were in the middle of some fated moment that neither was wholly prepared for. "…I know," he answered, closing the space between them and leaning back against the railing hands in pockets. Seifer returned to his previous position—hunched forward with his elbows leaning on the same railing. His coat billowed behind him. Leon watched the slightly frayed hem trail along the breeze and realized there wasn't much of anything left between them anymore. If so much hadn't happened they'd be as good as strangers. But so much _had_ happened and now they had to somehow find a way to come to terms with that, because if they didn't…well, for one, Cloud would be pissed and Leon didn't like sleeping on the couch one bit. …and he was sure there must be other reasons for making peace with Seifer—it was just that all the others seemed to pale by comparison.

"That long hair…" Seifer said. "You're starting to look like your old man."

Leon frowned a bit. He knew Seifer was giving him an easy out for breaching the subject of their shared history, but even now he hated to be compared to his goofball father. It was embarrassing. Silence stretched out between them for an extended moment. "It's a nice town," Leon said at last for lack of adequate words to cover all the things that needed to be said between them. "Quiet."

"…yeah," Seifer answered blandly. This entire conversation was just so _lame_. More silence passed between them. Seifer couldn't decide whether it was too late to be dealing with this or too early. He was pretty sure it sucked though. Squall's presence only reminded him more keenly that Zell was gone and he was never coming back. He didn't want anything to do with any of this. "Quieter when you're not here," he added to not so subtly hint that he hoped Leon was going to be leaving soon.

"He was too good for you," Leon retorted before he could figure out how one thing prompted the other. He decided not to dwell on it. This was the heart of the trouble between them anyway.

Seifer frowned. "I know," he answered, just a hint of the pain he felt at losing Zell in his voice. "But it wasn't like when I was with you. I loved him." He paused, stood, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "…for what it's worth."

Leon watched as Seifer started to walk off. His stomach lurched a bit. Everything had gone so wrong. "It's not worth much," he called after him.

Seifer paused and tossed a sad smirk over his shoulder. "If you ever happen to stumble across my gunblade, drop it by, would you? Kind of hard to kick ass with a foam bat."

Leon's heart lurched into his throat. Seifer was still thinking of that man—Sephiroth. Maybe that was just as well. If Cloud had given up his revenge, maybe someone ought to make up for it, and it seemed like the idea of revenge was all Seifer had left. Even Leon couldn't help a little pity on his behalf. "I'll keep it in mind," he answered.

"See ya around, Lame-o," Seifer replied, giving a two-fingered wave before heading home. Sunset Hill just wasn't the same when you had to share it.

Leaning back against the railing, Leon sighed thinking, 'That went well…I guess.' When he finally got back to their rented room Cloud was sitting up in bed waiting for him to arrive. "You're always running off in the middle of the night," he said. "I'm not sure what I should think."

Leon kicked off his boots and hung his jacket before making his way over to sit on the edge of the bed. "Some things are just better done late at night, before I've come to my senses."

Cloud smirked, wrapping his arms around his fiancé's neck. "I can think of at least one of them we can enjoy together," he replied with an impish smirk meant for Leon alone before pulling their mouths together for a lingering kiss. There were so many things that didn't need to be said, but Cloud decided to smirk and ask, "So you invited him?"

"Not in so many words," Leon answered, "but I think he got the message."

---

_A/N: _Okay, I lied. There will be a short epilogue too…and then I'll give you some info on the upcoming third story.


	15. Epilogue

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII/Kingdom Hearts

Pairing: SeiferZell, some others (LeonCloud, primarily)

Notes: Sequel to "First Snow", story 2 of 3

Standard Disclaimers Apply.

**For What It's Worth**

**Epilogue: Getting Over It**

Hayner wheezed, trying to get the air back into his lungs. He fought with Seifer a lot, but Seifer was both larger and older than he was and normally took it easy on him. Seifer also always let him know that he'd taken it easy on him. He'd say things like "you've still got a long way to go, pipsqueak" and "I was just testing you", in that arrogant tone he got when he stuck his chin in the air and looked down at you from beyond the rim of his black beanie.

Today Seifer had wailed on him without mercy.

On the one hand, Hayner was somewhat relieved that Seifer had stopped falling asleep in the middle of the sandlot. On the other if this was the alternative he maybe kind of preferred the large blonde man unconscious. Hayner laid back and pinched his bloody nose saying in a pinched tone "you're such an asshole."

"You've got a long way to go, runt," Seifer retorted. "Hurry up and get stronger so I have someone around worth beating up."

Hayner grit his teeth a bit and his shoulders shook with anger as Seifer turned away from him. He was just a kid damnit! What the hell did he expect? "Afraid of getting soft?" he quipped—the best he could do for his already tattered pride.

"Been soft for a while now," Seifer answered, rolling his shoulder. "Now it's about time to remedy the situation. Later Loser." He gave Hayner a two-fingered wave, actively not thinking of how much Hayner reminded him of Zell sometimes. It was time to get his revenge and get over it. The person he was now…Zell would be ashamed of him if he were still alive. He was ashamed of himself.

Hayner watched his retreating figure with a deep frown. Sure, he was pissed that the guy had beat the tar out of him just because he was wallowing in self-pity, and he was frustrated that he was so weak by comparison to Seifer in his 'soft' state…but somehow…he couldn't hate the bastard for it. 'What's with _that_?!' Hayner wondered irritably.

Whatever the case, he decided, he was determined: it wasn't going to end this way.

_**The End…sort of…**_

----

_A/N:_ I feel a little guilty that this story sort of…fell apart at the end. Everything is up in the air because it's going to be cleaned up and closed up in the third and final story. I've sort of hinted a little at where I'm going in the last few chapters here, but am working without a safety net as usual, so anything can happen!

The final story will be named "**_In So Many Words"_** and will be uploaded under Kingdom Hearts. I intend to start it about a week from now, so look for it in early March.


End file.
